Examining Priorities

Family & Consumer Sciences at Michigan State University Extension created a free program called "Caring for My Family." One of the lessons in this program is called "Powerful Priorities". Consider printing out this lesson and discussing it with your pregnant daughter, and maybe even the father of the baby.

The lesson says, "We have many things in our lives that we feel are important. However, there is just a limited amount of time, energy, and money that is available to us. Often we have to choose between the priorities in our lives. We have to decide which of our priorities are the most important to us." Print out a copy of the following list of topics (or the worksheet in the PDF lesson) for each person in this discussion (yourself, spouse, daughter, father of baby, etc.).

List of topics:

• Education
• Wealth – Financial Security
• Health
• House (Clean, Orderly)
• Material Possessions (clothes, appliances, etc.)
• Spiritual
• Family
• Children
• Friends
• Good Looks – Attractiveness – Neat Appearance
• Spouse/Boyfriend/Companion
• Adventure
• Recreation – Leisure Activities
• Social Reform – Helping Others Less Fortunate
• Politics
• Other topics you pick:

Have each person number these topics in the order that they are important as priorities to that person. Before discussing the numbering, also number each topic with how you think another person would number them. For example, after picking her own priorities, your daughter should number the list according to how she thinks the baby's father would number these topics.

Now share why you numbered the topics the way you did, and talk about the differences in priorities that each person has.

Is the way that your daughter numbered priorities different from the way the baby's father did?

Is it okay for people in a relationship to have different priorities? Discuss how these differences in priorities might impact their relationship and their parenting.

Differences in priorities are the food for many fights. Discuss each difference on the lists: is the value of a particular priority vastly different between your daughter and the baby's father? If so, try to understand each point of view about that priority topic. Is there an acceptable compromise for that topic? You may choose to have these discussions with a religious leader or counselor so that they can provide an objective viewpoint and help keep the conversation on topic.