Real Story: Tanika Stevenson's murder

Tanika Stevenson (24) was murdered in 1997 because she refused to abort her third child with Derrick Clements (25).  Derrick was married to someone else and had three children with his wife.  Derrick had already paid Tanika to abort two of their children, and she refused to abort their third child.  So Derrick shot Tanika in the back of the head and stuffed her body into the trunk of her own car, then parked the car at the Dowdell’s Knob overlook in Pine Mountain’s Franklin D. Roosevelt State Park in Georgia.  He stole her ATM card and withdrew money from her account, telling police that he had paid her to have an abortion and he wanted his money back since she would not abort.

If your daughter is pregnant by a married man who is not her husband, talk to her about her safety.  Has he threatened her in any way?  Is he insisting on abortion?  Do they fight about her pregnancy?  If so, ask her to not see him in private at any time, to always have someone with her.  If he has threatened her, ask her to talk to the police and/or a lawyer about getting a restraining order against him.

You may find it helpful to read the chapter “Where does the baby's father belong in all this?”in our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy".

Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!  

Abortion and Mental Health

Up to 10% of mental health problems among women may be affected by a history of abortion, according to a new review published by the Royal College of Psychiatrists in their  British Journal of Psychiatry.

 

Publication of this new review, which included 877,181 women from six countries, has reawakened accusations that the American Psychological Associations Task Force on Mental Health and Abortion deliberately understated abortion’s mental health risks for ideological reasons.

The findings of the new review appear to contradict the conclusions published by the task force in 2008, which stated that a "single abortion" of an "unwanted" pregnancy for an "adult" woman did not "in and of itself" pose significant mental health risks.

According to an expert in the field, Elliot Institute director Dr. David Reardon, that carefully nuanced conclusion was designed to obscure rather than clarify the risks of abortion.  "If you pay close attention you will find reluctant admissions that certain subgroups of women are at higher risk."

For example, the APA review admits that multiple abortions may be problematic. But it then fails to mention that fully half of all abortions are second, third or fourth abortions.

Similarly, Reardon notes that the APA recognizes that abortions of wanted pregnancies, and cases where women feel pressured to abort by other people, are also clearly problematic. But these cases may account for 30% to 65% of all abortions. Abortions for minors are also known to be associated with elevated suicide rates.


The meta-analysis in this publication revealed that women with a history of abortion face higher rates of anxiety (34% higher) and depression (37% higher), heavier alcohol use (110% higher) and marijuana use (230% higher), and higher rates of suicidal behavior (155% higher).

The study also found that women who delivered an unplanned pregnancy were significantly less likely to have mental health problems than similar women who aborted unplanned pregnancies.  Women with a history of abortion were 55% more likely to have mental health problems than women who did not abort an unplanned pregnancy.

Talk to your pregnant daughter about these statistics.  If your pregnant daughter is a minor, and/or people are pressuring her to abort her child, she may be facing mental health consequences after the abortion.  With your pregnant daughter, learn more about the psychological impact of abortion.


You may find it helpful to read the chapters “Trying to Hide” and "Where is God in all of this?" in our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy“.


Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!  

Real Stories: Men Impacted by Coercion

Men are hurt by coerced and unwanted abortions too. Here is one man’s story:

For every woman who has had an abortion a man has been involved. For me it was two abortions.  My story begins at 16 when I heard that first “I’m pregnant” from my girlfriend. I can remember being scared and a little confused about how it all happened. I asked all of the questions like, “I thought you were protected,” and anything else I could think of to say rather than taking responsibility for my actions.

I can remember when the phone call came to my parents. My feelings of being scared and confused changed to terrified and ashamed. I don’t know how much time passed from the phone call until my parents came to talk with me, but it felt like an eternity. I remember putting on my headphones with the music cranked up, not wanting to face the consequences of my actions as my parents were trying to talk to me. I wanted it all to go away.

I’m sure my parents were just as scared and that thoughts of “what’s next” were running through their minds. Both sets of parents got involved, and it ended with the untimely death of Jonathan Michael, who would now be 30-plus years old and doing something I never gave him the chance to do.

I don’t remember thinking a whole lot about the abortion. In my busy, important life as a teenager, sex, drugs, and rock and roll took over with a steady diet of Pink Floyd and others. It didn’t take long for this life-style to catch up with me; I got myself in the same situation with another girlfriend.

I remember thinking, “Okay, this time I will be a man and take care of this baby. I know I’m only 17, but I’ll be 18 real soon and out of high school. I know I can work hard and make it work out this time.”

When we had the sit-down talk with my girlfriend’s dad, he proceeded to tell me I wasn’t ready for the responsibility of raising a child. After all, I was still in high school and I had no job stability. He continued for some time, but all I heard after that was, “You are not good enough; you’re a loser. What kind of idiot would get my daughter pregnant anyway? I can’t believe I even let my daughter go out with you the way you look, you long-haired loser.”

The result of that conversation was the decision by her parents for the abortion of Zachary Allen, who would be following his older brother’s lead in the life I didn’t fight for. That day ripped my gut out and closed my heart.

My role in two abortions has been long-lasting. I can tell you that the mental and emotional effects on a man are real and devastating. I really don’t let anyone get close to me because I don’t want to let them down. I’ve had a divorce, no current relationship with my two living sons, countless unfinished projects, and several jobs left before true success–mainly because I never felt I deserved it.

Where am I today? After hearing a woman’s personal story in our church of how abortion affected her, I felt like a hammer hit me between the eyes. I knew then it was time to start dealing with my past. Jesus Christ has forgiven my past and continues to strengthen me. I know that there is NO future looking in my rearview mirror and nothing in my past that I can change. My wife had nothing to do with my past, but she wants the best for our future and to fight and save as many untimely deaths as we can together. Her support has been immeasurable in the healing process.

 You may also find it helpful to read the chapter "Where does the baby's father belong in all of this?" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy".

Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our Grandparent Support Group!

Real Stories: A teen's coerced abortion

Read this real-life experience to your pregnant daughter and talk to her about her reaction.

When I became pregnant, the father of the baby insisted on an abortion. He was scared, because his parents had to get married with him when his mother was sixteen years old. My boyfriend always felt like his dad resented him for “tying him down.” His father drank a lot, and would beat him and his mother and sisters. My boyfriend said he wanted to show his father that he could “do it the right way.”

But I wanted to have the baby. I didn’t know much about abortion, but as a Christian, I knew it was wrong. So I told my boyfriend that he could “get lost” and have no responsibility for the baby. If I felt that I couldn’t handle the baby, I could give him up for adoption.

There was one problem: I was so scared! I needed the help of a professional, so like many other girls, I went to Planned Parenthood.

After an examination, I talked with a counselor and explained to her that I wanted the baby, but I was scared and that my boyfriend wanted me to have an abortion. She seemed to think that abortion was the wise choice. All she said was, “Well, remember that it’s your body, and you have the final say about what happens. However, here’s the phone to call and make an appointment for an abortion. The clinic is very busy so you should call as soon as possible.” I told her I wasn’t ready to jump that fast, and left feeling lonely and helpless.

I knew I couldn’t fight against my boyfriend forever, and I was afraid to tell my parents. So, feeling hopeless, I made an appointment for an abortion.

I told the counselor I wanted to have my baby but my boyfriend wanted me to have the abortion. The counselor seemed quite upset with me and plainly told me that I was being “romantic,” while my boyfriend was being “realistic.” How could wanting to give birth to my baby be romantic? I knew it wouldn’t be peaches and roses, but the counselor had no right to put me down like that, either. It seems to me that these people are so involved in fighting for abortions that they forget to look at the young girls’ and their babies’ needs.

Anyway, eight weeks pregnant, I had a suction abortion. About six hours after the abortion, I experienced severe cramps and almost passed out. I’ve never felt pain like that before—it was as if someone was on the inside of my stomach, slowly cutting it away with a knife. I finally rocked myself to sleep on my hands and knees. When I woke up, the pain was gone.

The second day I felt all right. But on the third day after my abortion, the pain came back, and I had a lot of bleeding and clotting. Nobody told me it would be that bad. I was told to expect some bleeding, which they gave pills for, and some cramps.

I was also told that for a couple of weeks I’d feel an emotional loss, but after that, I should be over my experience. If I wasn’t, they said, I should seek further counseling, because normally these feelings of guilt, loss, etc. should be gone by then. Well, my symptoms weren’t over, but there was no way I was going back to them for counseling.

A year later, I married my boyfriend, who also had horrible guilt feelings [about the abortion]. We have regretted it every day since it happened. We keep wondering what kind of child he or she was: a future President? Someone with the answer to our energy problems? Quite on purpose, I got pregnant two weeks before we got married. I knew it was wrong, but the need for another child was so great that it was all I lived for.

About three months after we were married, I started changing emotionally, and could not stand having any kind of sexual relationship with my husband. I thought it was a hormone imbalance, due to my pregnancy.

When the problem didn’t get better after the baby was born, and went on for another year, I went to talk to a Christian friend who was studying to become a marriage counselor. He said I was probably trying to punish myself for what I did, and that I couldn’t accept God’s forgiveness. It wasn’t until two years later that I found out one of the major problems women face after an abortion is not being able to face sexual relationships. The emotional damage done by abortion goes so deep and into so many different areas that it is hard to understand.

I still have problems that need to be worked out. Nobody ever told me it would be like this. In fact, I thought I was abnormal until I read information from [a post-abortion support group], and realized that I’m not alone. Sad but comforting.

My husband has been great through all of this. Christ is teaching us so much, and because of what I went through, I have a “burden” to help fight this issue. Although I haven’t told my parents about my abortion, I’ll probably have to soon. I’m sure they wonder why I take everything about abortion so personally. I’ve already told my mother-in-law, and my husband is supporting me the whole way.

As a Christian, I know God was with me all the way, wanting to give me His strength to help me make it through my pregnancy. I was just too scared to reach out for His hand. I still should have gotten better professional help from those agencies. At the age of eighteen, the law says one is an adult. But emotionally, many eighteen-year-olds are not strong enough on the inside to stand up for what they really want.

I thank God with all my heart that He loved my husband and me and showed His love for us by giving us a second chance. We are blessed with three beautiful boys—I hope we can have three more!

You may also find it helpful to read the chapter "Where does the baby's father belong in all of this?" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy".

Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our Grandparent Support Group!

Forcing your daughter to abort

Parents, don't force your pregnant daughter to have an abortion.

Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our Grandparent Support Group!

Pearl S. Buck "Every Life is a Gift"

Pearl S. Buck wrote the following essay in 1968, as the foreward to Robert E. Cooke's book "Terrible Choice: The Abortion Dilemma."  Note that the vocabulary used to respectfully describe persons with disabilities has changed since 1968 when this essay was published.

As the mother of a child retarded with phenylketonuria, I can ask myself, at this reflective moment, if I had rather she had never been born.  No, let me ask the question fully. Could it have been possible for me to have the foreknowledge of her thwarted life, would I have wanted abortion?

Now with full knowledge of anguish and despair, the answer is No, I would not.  Even in full knowledge I would have chosen life, and this for two reasons: First, I fear the power of choice over life or death at human hands, I see no human being whom I could ever trust with such power- not myself, not any other.

Human wisdowm, human integrity are not great enough.  Since the fetus is a creature already alive and in the process of development, to kill it is to choose death over life.  At what point shall we allow this choice?  For me the answer is - at no point, once life has begun.

At no point, I repeat, either as life begins or as life ends, for we who are human beings cannot, for our own safety, be allowed to choose death, life being all we know.  Beyond life lie only faith and surmise, but not knowledge.  Where there is no knowledge except for life, decision for death is not safe for the human race.

The principle thus established, I go to my second reason for rejection of abortion, in my own case.  My child's life has not been meaningless.  She has indeed brought comfort and practical help to many people who are parents of retarded children or are themselves handicapped.

True, she has done it through me, yet without her I would not have had the means of learning how to accept the inevitable sorrow, and how to make that acceptance useful to others.

Would I be so heartless as to say that it has been worthwhile for my child to be born retarded?  Certainly not, but I am saying that even though gravely retarded it has been worthwhile for her to have lived.

It can be summed up, perhaps, by saying that in this world, where cruelty prevails in so many aspects of our life I would not add the weight of choice to kill rather than to let live.

A retarded child, a handicapped person, brings its own gift to life, even to the life of normal human beings.  That gift is comprehended in the lessons or patiences, understanding, and mercy, lessons which we all need to receive and to practice with one another, whatever we are.

For this gift bestowed upon me by a helpless child, I give my thanks.

What do you think of Pearl's reasoning on abortion?

Real Stories: Sasha's pregnancy after rape

Watch Sasha Nelson's story about becoming pregnant after being raped, and her thoughts about abortion and choosing life for her son, Charlie

High school clinic facilitates abortion

A Seattle, Washington, high school recently made the news because the in-school "health center" sent a 15 year old girl for an abortion during school hours. The teen took a pregnancy test at the school clinic, and at some point was put in a taxi and sent off to have an abortion. The mother of the teen says that the teen was told that if she concealed the abortion from her family that the abortion would be free of charge.

Washington state does not require a parent to give consent for a minor to have an abortion, nor does it require a parent to even be notified. Only a few states require neither parental notification nor parental consent: Connecticut, DC, Hawaii, New Hampshire, New York, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington.

If the high school your children attend has an in-school clinic, find out who runs the clinic... is it run by the school districit or by a separate medical provider? Exactly what services does the clinic provide? Are you able to opt-in to some services for your child, but opt-out of other services? What is the clinic's policy on pregnancy tests, abortion referrals, and other sexuality issues?

Tia's story

In a report from the Family Research Council, titled "A Passion To Serve", Tia tells her story:

When I found out I was pregnant, I had no idea what I was going to do. I thought there was no way I could provide for a child and decided that abortion was my only option. I went to the City Health Department looking for an abortion referral, but they suggested I go to the Pregnancy Care Center, a local Care Net center in Rocky Mount, North Carolina. At first I was scared they were going to judge me because of my situation, but when I walked through the doors I was accepted with open arms. My peer counselor offered me hope and assurance and told me that God has a plan for everyone, and that included me and my child. She told me that God would take care of both of us if I would let Him. That day, I gave my life to Jesus Christ and chose life for my child.

The center arranged for me to have an ultrasound, which revealed that I was having twins! Excited but a little anxious, this news motivated me to begin parenting classes at the center as well as to attend a Bible study. Through the parenting classes, I learned how to take care of myself, as well as my children. Through the Bible study, I learned how to draw closer to God and how to make positive decisions for my future. I realized that I’m worth waiting for and have made a new commitment to remain abstinent until marriage.

Today I am the proud mother of twins, a boy and girl, who I named Ma-chi and Ma-chiya. I plan on completing a degree in nursing and will soon begin classes.

If I could give advice to other girls that find themselves in a similar situation, I would tell them to never give up and to put all their faith in God, because with Him, anything is possible!

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You and your pregnant daughter do not have to succumb to pressure to have an abortion either. Do your research on all options carefully. Pray about it. Get counsel from a mature Christian who does not have a stake in the decision. Talk to someone at your local pregnancy resource center. You may find our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" a helpful resource to help you discuss all the decisions that must be made.

Tina and Isabella's Story

In a report from the Family Research Council, titled "A Passion To Serve", Tina tells her story:

My boyfriend said there was only one option: abortion. After all, what would our parents say? What would the people at our church think?

I obediently scheduled an appointment, but before the date arrived, I was overwhelmed with doubts. I knew I couldn't do it. Desperate for help and options, I turned to the phone book and found the Care Net Pregnancy Center of Cochise County.

I scheduled an appointment to meet with a peer counselor. They sat down with me and helped me go over all of my options, and they really listened to my needs. I didn't feel judged; I just felt cared for.

After meeting with my counselor, I knew that I wanted to keep this baby. I still had fears about how this decision was going to affect my future, but the staff from the pregnancy center was there for me throughout my pregnancy. They offered me parenting classes as well as ears to talk to, shoulders to cry on, and ready prayers.

And now, I have a beautiful little daughter, Isabella. When I look at my daughter, I still cannot believe that I almost considered abortion. Life as a single mother is not a bed of roses, but the love that I have for my daughter and the love that she gives to me make it all worthwhile.

I am so thankful for the love and support I received at the Care Net center and for their continuing friendship and prayers!

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You and your pregnant daughter do not have to succumb to pressure to have an abortion either. Do your research on all options carefully. Pray about it. Get counsel from a mature Christian who does not have a stake in the decision. Talk to someone at your local pregnancy resource center. You may find our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" a helpful resource to help you discuss all the decisions that must be made.

Megan and Ava's Story

In a report from the Family Research Council, titled "A Passion To Serve", Megan tells her story:

When I found out I was pregnant, I was scared, confused, and believed everything I had been told. "Having a baby will ruin your life." "Abortion is the only way out." "Young single mothers cannot make it in this world." The fears I felt toward confronting the pregnancy, and having such drastic changes take place in my life, confirmed my decision. An abortion was the only way to "save" my life as I knew it.

I made an appointment for the next week for a medical abortion, where I would take the medication/pill regimen known as RU-486. The thought of "surgical abortion" made me queasy, and the clinic staff made the pill sound so simple - like taking a Tylenol for a headache. It seemed like the perfect solution had fallen right in my lap. But what I first thought was the answer to my prayers soon came with its own set of worries. I couldn't shake the nagging thoughts in the back of my mind, those unsettled feelings that I was sure would disappear since I had made the appointment to take the RU-486.

My anxiety worsened as the date for the abortion grew closer. I crept slowly through the days, wishing that I could stall the abortion appointment until I felt 100% confident about my choice. It was the biggest decision of my life, and I needed, I craved some conviction that it was the right decision. One day, as I was riding on the bus I saw a sign that read, "Considering Abortion? Pregnancy Care Centers: Caring, Confidential, Trusted." It gave me a sense of comfort I hadn't felt in weeks. I decided to call the number... I figured at that point, what did I have to lose? Maybe I did have one more chance to talk to someone before the abortion.

When I called the Help Line phone number, I was nervous - I didn't want to be judged or pressured. I just wanted to hear something hopeful. The woman on the other end of the line listened, and didn't judge. She gave me information, and set me up with an appointment. I don't know what prompted me to go. But I knew that I couldn't go in and get the abortion without some sense of affirmation that whatever choice I made, it would be a well-informed decision.

The visit to the pregnancy care center changed my life. For the first time, I saw my situation for what it really was - a blessing, a miracle of life. I saw my baby on the ultrasound as a real person. I could see her as a newborn baby... a little girl... and a grown woman who would do amazing things in this world if I would just give her the opportunity. Seeing Ava opened my eyes to everything I couldn't see before. I was able to see past my fears and my worries, and experience the excitement and joy of a new life. I felt a renewed sense of purpose, and an overwhelming responsibility to myself as a woman, and my capabilities of being a mother. The support and love the center showed me gave me the validation I was searching for all along.

The center wasn't about fixing a "problem" or telling me what to do - it was about the undeniable, unselfish celebration of life... and not just my baby's life, but mine as well. It was about empowerment, guidance and support. They were my reminder, when I was too scared to remind myself, that I didn't need to succumb to pressure just because I was afraid, and that I could choose the life I wanted. For the first time, I felt like I had choices and that I could make a genuine, confident decision.

When I left the clinic, I realized that the pit in my stomach was gone. I no longer had that nagging feeling of dread I had while I was waiting to have the abortion. I finally understood that the dread was not just a result of my current situation. It was really a preview of the regret that I would feel living the rest of my life knowing I had made a decision that I didn't have any information about. It was regret in a decision which would have stolen those qualities of joy and unconditional love that I experience in my life every day now.

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You and your pregnant daughter do not have to succumb to pressure to have an abortion either. Do your research on all options carefully. Pray about it. Get counsel from a mature Christian who does not have a stake in the decision. Talk to someone at your local pregnancy resource center. You may find our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" a helpful resource to help you discuss all the decisions that must be made.

Top Ten Myths About Abortion

While you are discussing with your pregnant daughter her options for her child, take the time to research all the options.

You can download a free PDF brochure called "The Top Ten Myths About Abortion" and discuss it with your daughter. This brochure addresses the following myths:

1. Myth: Abortion is legal only during the first 3 months of pregnancy.
2. Myth: Abortion is legal because the Constitution says so.
3. Myth: Most Americans agree with current U.S. abortion law.
4. Myth: Abortion is rare in the United States.
5. Myth: Most abortions in the Unted States are done for health reasons or because of rape or incest.
6. Myth: Abortion is good for women.
7. Myth: Abortion is beneficial to modern society.
8. Myth: The more that people have access to contraception, the fewer abortions there will be.
9. Myth: Abortion, particularly early abortion, does not take the life of a human being.
10. Myth: I can be "personally opposed, but pro-choice".

Abortion impacts future parenting

The Elliot Institute News (vol 8, no 8) ran an article titled "Abortion has greater impact on parenting than other forms of pregnancy loss, new review finds." This article summarizes the findings of a study (performed by Priscilla Coleman of Bowling Green University) published in "Current Women's Health Reviews". This research study "focused on psychological reactions to these various types of loss and discussed how they might affect a mother's relationship with children born after the pregnancy loss."

"It is now known that women usually begin feeling maternal attachment in the early stages of pregnancy." Ask your pregnant daughter if she has begun feeling attachment to her child in her womb.

The paper notes that despite the increased responsibilities and stress involved in raising children, "numerous studies have documented positive psychological characteristics associated with motherhood including increases in life satisfaction, self-esteem, empathy, restraint, flexibility and resourcefulness in coping, and assertiveness." Losing a child before or at birth, for any reason, however, "can be a profound source of suffering."

Examining your own motherhood, have you found that being a mother has increased your life satisfaction? Your self-esteem? Your empathy? Your restraint? Your flexibility and resourcefulness in coping? Your assertiveness? Have you lost a child before or at birth for any reason, including abortion? Did you find this loss to be a source of suffering? If you did suffer the loss of a child, would you prefer that your pregnant daughter receive the possible positive psychological benefits of motherhood or the possible suffering of child loss?

"While all forms of pregnancy loss can cause emotional distress that can impact future parenting, the available research indicates that emotional responses after induced abortion are more likely to go unresolved and to persist for a longer time period."

Why would that be true?

While "society understands that women who miscarry or relinquish a child through adoption may experience sadness and grief; however, grief after socially sanctioned because abortion is not acknowledged by our culture as a human death experience," and help to deal with the experience is usually not offered. ... Finding help and support after abortion is further hampered by the belief that, unlike other forms of pregnancy loss, abortion is optional and therefore women experience less distress afterwards.

Having an abortion is "sometimes quite inconsistent with the woman's true desires" (one survey found that 64 percent of American women who had abortions reported feeling pressured to abort), and many women, especially those who feel conflicted or didn't want the abortion, do feel emotional distress afterwards.

Ask your daughter to be honest with you... does she really want to abort her child? Is she feeling conflicted? Is she feeling pressured to abort?

"The best evidence regarding negative effects of abortion indicates that 20-30 percent will experience serious psychological problems," Coleman wrote. "With 1.3 million U.S. abortions performed annually, a minimum of 130,000 new cases of abortion-related mental health problems appear each year."

And while abortion advocates frequently argue that abortion is better than carrying
an unplanned pregnancy to term, the evidence suggests otherwise.

Studies of women with unplanned pregnancies found that women who aborted had higher risks of depression, substance abuse and anxiety, and teens who aborted an unintended pregnancy were more likely to experience negative mental health outcomes than their peers who carried to term. Further, a recent New Zealand study led by a pro-choice researcher found no evidence that abortion provided any mental health benefits to women even in cases of unplanned pregnancy.

Many times, a pregnant woman will say that she is choosing abortion because she wants to be a parent later in life instead of now. The research study describes "a number of ways that a previous abortion can effect a woman's relationship" with the children she gives birth to later at some point after the abortion.

1) Increased depression and anxiety. Abortion has been linked to higher rates of maternal depression and anxiety before and after birth, which may effect the woman's relationship with her children. In addition, depression is a common predictor for child abuse.

2) Sleep disorders and disturbances. Women who have had an abortion are more likely to experience sleep disorders compared to women who carry to term, and one survey found that many women attributed the sleep disorders to a past abortion. These sleep disturbances "could render the high energy demands of parenting more complicated."

3) Substance abuse. Studies have found that women who had an abortion were more likely to engage in substance abuse, and also more likely to smoke or use drugs or alcohol while pregnant. Mothers who abuse drugs or alcohol are more likely to "engage in authoritarian and punitive parenting practices," and parental substance abuse increases the risk that the children will suffer abuse or neglect.

4) Child abuse. Abortion has been associated with lower emotional support for one's children and with a higher risk of child abuse and neglect.

Abortion has also been linked to higher rates of suicide and to a wide range of mental health disorders. Coleman was also the lead author of a study published in The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, which found that the children of women who had abortions have less supportive home environments and more
behavioral problems than children of women without a history of abortion. [2]

While the review noted that not every woman may experience psychological problems after abortion that will carry over into their personal relationships, "some women will have carryover effects into the parenting realm." The paper pointed to a need for better screening and awareness of possible psychological problems after miscarriage, adoption and abortion, and for more research to examine the effects of abortion.

Citations

1. PK Coleman, "The Psychological Pain of Perinatal Loss and Subsequent Parenting Risks: Could Induced Abortion Be More Problematic Than Other Forms of Loss," Current Women's Health Issues 5: 88-99, 2009.
2. PK Coleman, DC Reardon, JR Cougle, “Substance use among pregnant women in the context of previous reproductive loss and desire for current pregnancy,” British Journal of Health Psychology 10: 255-268, 2005.

If you or your pregnant daughter are considering aborting her child, take the time to research the possible physical, emotional and spiritual risks that are associated with this action... not only risks to her own well-being but risks to her future children as well.

"God, Why?"

Yesterday we blogged about the possible dangers of a teen daughter dating someone who is several years older than herself. Earlier in the week we blogged about warning signs of an abusive relationship.

Here's a real-life example that appeared in "The Elliot Institute News" from the Leader in Post-Abortion Research, Vol. 8, No. 6 -- April 16, 2009.

"God, Why?"
One Woman Shares Her Personal Story

I was living in Texas, with my mom, dad, and four brothers. My parents divorced when I was 13. My mother was sick most of my childhood life, in and out of hospitals and mental institutions.

Then in the eighth grade I met someone who was 19 years old (I was only 14 years old.) I think I leaned on him for support because my dad had moved to another state for job reasons and my mom was sick. In some ways I was a little mother for my four brothers.

My boyfriend abused me by slapping me and controlling everything I did. I was just a child. I didn't realize then how serious my situation was. We started having sex and I got pregnant.

My mother decided I should have an abortion and my boyfriend gave me the money to go. My oldest brother took me to Dallas to have the abortion. I was only four weeks pregnant.

When I walked into the abortion clinic, I remember seeing so many young, scared faces just like mine. …. I remember waking up in a room all alone and scared. I went home and little did I know that my trouble and pain were just beginning.

I was still being abused by my boyfriend and then my mother was sick. I had to live with an aunt I did not know.

My two younger brothers lived with different aunts and I and my older brothers stayed in Texas. I had lost my family and until then hadn't realized how my abortion affected me.

Time went by and I met new friends but I was still a very hurt and confused teenager. I was watching TV one evening and a show came on about conceiving a baby and how it grows inside the mother's womb. Then it talked about abortion.

For the first time in my life I realized what I had done. I started crying and screaming. I ran into my bedroom and hit the walls with my fists. I was sobbing, “God, why?” I cried for hours.

I am 33 years old now and still there are days when I cry. Every day of my life I have pain inside of me.

I think it should be a law for women, especially teenagers, to see a film on abortion before they decide to have one. I know it would have saved my baby's life.

I don't blame my mother because she still saw me as a child … I carry the responsibility and the pain.

~~~

Learn more: For more personal stories of abortion, including coerced, forced and unwanted abortions, visit www.TheUnchoice.com.

More personal stories and a reflection on the personal and social obstacles women often face before, during and after abortion, can be found in the book Giving Sorrow Words: Women's Stories of Grief After Abortion, by Melinda Tankard Reist.

My Clock Was Already Ticking

Margaret Gunther wrote an interesting essay/testimony in the New York Times recently, titled "My Clock Was Already Ticking." Here are a few especially powerful quotes from her true story.

When she discovered she was pregnant at 34, she told her boyfriend. He told her to get an abortion.

"From the moment I told him I was pregnant, it became my “problem,” as in “What are you going to do about the problem?”"

"The truth, which came out after I’d expressed my desire to keep the baby, was more simply stated: “If you go through with this,” he said, “I want nothing to do with it.”"

She did it, even though she didn't want to, in order to save the relationship. "But I still wanted something to do with him, and I thought if I were to deal with “the problem” the way he wanted me to, we could go back to the way we were. "

Instead, he immediately gave her a clock as a gift and broke up with her.

She says, "It isn’t very often that you’re called upon to make a decision that you know will affect the rest of your life, a decision that is irrevocable and defining. I chose to end the pregnancy for what I thought were good reasons, chief among them being my boyfriend’s emphatic unwillingness to be a father. Although his initial reaction to the news was muted, he came out strongly against it once I announced my desire to keep the baby."

She continues, "I argued weakly with him that we could make it work. Without him, I didn’t see a way forward. I had no savings, and no family around to support or encourage me. I was terrified, and not just about being a single parent. I was afraid that with a baby I’d be off the market for good. And I wanted a husband as much as I wanted a baby, if not more. Maybe I knew instinctively that I wasn’t cut out for single parenthood. And I wanted what I wanted: husband, home, baby, in that order."

"What he didn’t have was an appetite for a family, at least with me. I was desperate and deluded enough to think I could change his mind."

"The payoff I’d hoped for, that we’d stay together and the [abortion] wound would be healed by his love and devotion, never came. I raged and wept and raged and wept for my stupidity, my failure, the betrayal of myself."

Later, she moved out of Los Angeles and married another man, who wanted to start a family right away. "The family did not come right away. In fact, the pregnancy I terminated at 34 turned out to be the last that would occur naturally. And none of the expensively produced pregnancies I managed after lasted longer than three weeks."

Margaret is one of the approximately 5% of women who will only conceive ONE child on their own in their entire life. If that ONE child is aborted...then how must she feel! "The children I did not bring into this world are ghosts, and they are symptoms. I’ve learned to live with them the way you do with the phantom pain of missing limbs."

Pregnancy and Crack Cocaine

A recent news article titled "Children born to crack addicts have troubles, but they aren't doomed" give some hopeful news. If your pregnant daughter is using crack cocaine during her pregnancy, don't encourage her to abort the baby. Instead, help her quit using the drug and get medical treatment immediately.

This news article says "Are there actually drug effects? Yes," said Barry Lester, a professor of psychiatry at Brown University who directs the large federally funded Maternal Lifestyle Study. "But they're small, not huge. ... These kids are not damaged in the way we first thought."

What challenges does her baby face?

• "A small reduction of IQ; more difficulty in cognitive areas, such as planning and organization; some are harder to control at times; more issues at birth."
• "Cocaine exposure in the womb increases the risk of complications, miscarriages and stillbirths."
• "Their limbs would be stiff. Or they'd have problems keeping formula down. Sometimes it would be Parkinson-like trembling. "But those things tended to resolve within nine months," McMann said."
• "a pool of studies involving more than 4,400 children found no significant effect on IQ or language development. The largest of the studies showed an average four-point reduction in IQ at age 7."

"At Boston University, Deborah Frank agreed: "The differences are so subtle you can mainly only detect them in large groups, during a study. It's not like you can walk into a classroom and say that kid over there was exposed to such and such drug. But you can walk in and say that kid was exposed to alcohol and has fetal alcohol syndrome." After monitoring these children into their teen years, researchers believe cocaine exposure is less severe than alcohol and comparable to tobacco use during pregnancy.Less damage may result from a chemical circulating in the mother than in the poverty or poor parenting resulting from drug addiction in the home."

Help your pregnant daughter get medical treatment for any drugs she is using, including cigarettes. Help her stop using drugs and alcohol right away. There will be consequences to both her health and the health of the baby, but these may be manageable and are not good excuses to pressure her into an abortion.

Dana's story

This real story (names changed) is exerpted from "Dana's Delight" written by Jeff Meredith, from the Care Net Report, Winter/Spring 2009. Copyright is held by Care Net.

When Dana found herself lost in Utica, New York, one night, the man who offered to help seemed nice enough. But it was a trap. He brutally raped her on the side of the road. It was a new low for a woman who had endured abuse and hardship her whole life. Yet in her darkest moment, God sowed the seeds of her redemption.

Dana suffered almost unimaginable cruelty growing up. By her early 30s, Dana had been married three times: including an adulterer, and an alcoholic who persuaded her to move to Alaska with him only to be devastated when he turned up in jail after a drunk driving arrest. The day he was scheduled for release, he was rearrested for a prior DUI and extradited to New York. Dana followed him to Utica, where she spent most of her lonely days at the jail waiting for visiting hours. It was just after a long day at the jail that the rape occurred. She had just moved to a new apartment and didn't know how to drive home. Police never caught the rapist.

Without friends of support, Dana suffered severe anguish. She would cry for days, entertain suicidal thoughts, and wash herself with bleach to "deal" with the rape. Two months after the rape, Dana received the biggest shock of her life. She was pregnant. Her husband urged her to abort the child, and her doctors also insisted abortion was her "best" option. So did her therapist. It seemed like circumstances couldn't get worse. But then a woman she had never met before called and said she was her husband's wife. That seemed utterly impossible. But when she confronted him, he admitted it was true.

With her "marriage" in tatters and pressure building on all sides to end her pregnancy, Dana felt lost. She wasn't sure what she needed, but she thought she might find it at a church. So one night, she decided to drive until she found one. When she stumbled into Calvary Gospel Church, she introduced herself to the pastor and met his wife. That kind, gentle woman listened to Dana's story and she told her she knew people who could help.

The very next day, the two of them went to a pregnancy center. For the first time in months, Dana felt safe and relaxed. Dana spoke to a peer counselor named Amy, unloading all of the conflicting questions plaguing her: "What if I can't love the baby? What if it looks like the rapist? Is it wrong to want to keep this child?" Amy listened and offered unconditional support. In the weeks and months ahead, Dana spoke repeatedly with Amy. She was always encouraged, but she still felt unsure. Three times she scheduled and missed abortion appointments. The first time, she came down with a cold. The second time she was rear-ended on the way to the appointment. Finally, on the third try, Dana realized the abortion clinic workers just didn't care about her. That's when she chose life.

Overjoyed, Dana told Amy about her decision. They rejoiced with her and helped her receive maternity clothes, baby clothes, and a bassinet. These wonderful gifts - strengthened by prayer, counsel, and friendship - finally helped Dana realize that out of that horrible rape and her anguished life, "God was creating something good."

The day her daughter was born, Dana felt overwhelmed with joy. As her labor ended and new life began, she suddenly understood what Amy had been sharing with her about God's unconditional love. Shortly after giving birth, Dana sent a note to Amy saying, "Thank you for sticking with me. I love my baby so much. If I had gone through with the abortion, I would be feeling so much despair. Instead I have so much love. I have never been happier."

Less than a year after her daughter's birth, Dana met a man who not only loves her but her daughter too. They've been married for four years now and he's adopted Dana's daughter. Today, Dana can say with total certainty that despite the unbelievable difficulty of her life, "I would do it all again for my baby."

Click here to watch a video of Dana sharing her story.

Dana's Story from Care Net on Vimeo.

Jennifer's story

The following real story is exerpted from "Wanted: Someone to share the truth", an article written by Jeff Meredith, in the Care Net Report, Winter/Spring 2009. Copyright is held by Care Net.

Jennifer Dobbs is passionately pro-life because she understands firsthand the devastating emotional consequences of abortion. They almost destroyed her life. "When I was just 15," she says, "I learned I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do, so I asked several of the adults in my life for guidance. Every one of them told me to get an abortion, because my child wasn't really a baby." I knew that wasn't true," she adds. "But how could I argue with grownups?" Not long after, she terminated her pregnancy. But that was never the "choice" she wanted to make. "What I wanted was the truth. I knew my baby was alive. But there was no one there to share that with me."

One year later, Jennifer found herself pregnant again. This time, she refused to have an abortion. She married the child's father and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. But the joys of motherhood – while genuine – were overwhelmed by the emotional pain and guilt she carried from the abortion. But in the midst of those struggles, God moved. When her daughter was four years old, "The Lord met me where I was, in my sadness and sin. He washed away the guilt and shame I couldn't deal with," Jennifer says. Then the Lord spoke clearly to her: "He wanted me to help others receive that same forgiveness for past abortion – and speak the truth about that procedure no one had shared with me."

New Study Links Abortion To Wide Range of Mental Health Disorders

A new study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research found that women who have abortions are at higher risk for various mental health disorders.[1]

The study, led by Priscilla Coleman of Bowling Green State University, used data drawn from a nationally representative survey of mental health conducted by the University of Michigan. A subsample of 5,877 women were asked about their abortion history, stressful life experiences and other potential risk factors for various mental health disorders.

Researchers studied 15 different mental health problems that included anxiety disorders (panic disorder, panic attacks, agoraphobia and post-traumatic stress disorder), mood disorders (bipolar disorder, mania and major depression) and substance abuse disorders (alcohol and drug use and dependence).

The researchers wrote that, according to their findings, "For every disorder, the abortion group had a higher frequency that was statistically significant." After removing other factors, they found that abortion "made a significant contribution" for 12 out of the 15 disorders studied. Only mania and drug and alcohol use without addiction were not significantly associated with abortion.

Overall, mental disorders among women who had abortions were 17 percent higher than among women who did not have abortions. When researchers looked at specific disorders, the increased rate among women who had abortions ranged from 44 percent higher for panic attacks and 167 percent higher for bipolar disorder.

Abortion Increases Risks More Than Other Traumas

Women who had abortions were also more likely to report a history of sexual abuse and to have experienced stressful events in adulthood, such as miscarriage, physical violence or being in a life-threatening accident. The researchers noted that women who experience domestic violence are more likely to abort compared to women who are not in violent situations.

But the researchers also found that abortion was more likely to cause mental health problems among women than was a history of other traumas such as childhood sexual abuse, rape, physical violence or neglect.

"What is most notable is that abortion contributed significant independent effects to numerous mental health problems above and beyond a variety of other traumatizing and stressful life experiences," they wrote.

Abortion advocates and some researchers have argued that the increase in mental health problems among women who have abortions is caused by previous traumas or pre-existing mental health problems among women who abort. This study found otherwise, as did the findings of a 2005 New Zealand study which found that, even after controlling for existing mental health problems, women who aborted were more likely to later experience depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse and suicidal thoughts.

More Evidence of Abortion Trauma

Previous research has linked abortion to an increase in mental health problems such as suicide, depression, substance abuse, anxiety, sleep disorders, symptoms of post-traumatic stress and other problems. But this is the first study to identify links between abortion and agoraphobia, panic attacks and panic disorders.

The findings are especially worrisome in the light of other research and anecdotal evidence suggesting that many women and teens have unwanted abortions due to pressure, disinformation, lack of support, coercion or violence. According to one survey, 64 percent of American women undergoing abortions said they felt pressured to do so by others, while more than 80 percent reported they did not receive adequate counseling beforehand and more than half said they felt rushed or uncertain before the abortion.

Further, another survey found that 95 percent of women said they wanted to be informed of all the risks before undergoing an elective procedure such as abortion. Unfortunately, much pre-abortion counseling when it is offered gives women and their partners or families deceptive or inadequate information in order to reassure or sell them on abortion, rather than helping the woman find the best solution for her and her unborn baby.

This study adds more evidence to the need for meaningful help and alternatives to abortion, as well as a mechanism to hold abortion businesses liable for failing to screen for coercion and other known factors that put women and teens at risk for mental health disorders after abortion.

~~~
Citations

1. Coleman, PK et. al., "Induced abortion and anxiety, mood, and substance abuse disorders: Isolating the effects of abortion in the national comorbidity survey," Journal of Psychiatric Research (2008), doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2008.10.009.

This article is from The Elliot Institute News, Vol. 7, No. 23 -- Dec. 11, 2008

Abortion increases risk of mental health problems

The New Zealand Herald recently published a short article, which is linked in the blog post title above. The research summarized in the newspaper article found that "Women who have an abortion are more likely to suffer subsequent poor mental health." The study evaluated women for "major depression, anxiety disorders, alcohol dependence and illicit drug dependence."

While after-abortion mental health problems may only account for between "1.5 and 5.5 per cent of the overall rate of mental disorders in the general population", this research study is yet another piece of evidence that abortion can be harmful, not helpful.

The effect of this study in New Zealand is interesting because "over 90% of terminations were authorised on the grounds that proceeding with the pregnancy will pose a serious threat to the woman's mental health." And now here is proof that proceeding with a termination may pose a serious threat to the woman's mental health.

It is common that you, as the parent of a pregnant teen or college student, may feel panic, fear, or shame. You may hope that a quick, quiet abortion will return everything to 'normal'. But this is not the case. Even if your daughter does not suffer from depression, anxiety, or drug use after the abortion, she will still be the mother of a dead baby and not the exact teen she was before pregnancy. Abortion can make her unpregnant, but it can't undo the fact that she is a mother. Before you urge your daughter to abort your grandchild, take the time to research the physical and emotional risks that are involved.