Budget housing, furniture and utilities

Forget glamorous, spacious, and perfect decor.  Instead, focus on safe and affordable.  Feminists for Life has a great article giving tips about housing, furniture and utilities when you are on a shoestring budget.

Most towns have a public housing office, although it may be difficult to get placed because of long waiting lists and shortages of available housing in most places. The U.S. Department of Housing
and Urban Development (HUD) may have listings of low-income housing. Local HUD offices can be found by choosing your state from the pulldown menu at www.hud.gov.

Consider sharing a house or apartment with other families like yours. Make sure that house-sharers are safe people, mutually compatible and flexible people, and to plan the living space for privacy as well as togetherness. Be sure to check your local laws about how many people may legally share a bedroom.

The National Shared Housing Resource Center (www.nationalsharedhousing.org) can be a good starting point for researching shared housing options. Craigslist is another resource for finding people interested in shared housing. Coabode.com offers a “matchmaking” service for single mothers to share housing with other single mothers.


Many utility companies and charitable organizations offer financial assistance to low-income
households for utilities. Take action to keep utility costs down. The first step is weather-proofing: make sure there is caulk around window frames, weather-stripping on doors, and use plastic insulating kits on windows where there are no storm windows.  Keep showers short, turn off lights, unplug items that you aren't using, change the thermostat and adjust clothing layers instead.

When children are small, it is better to have sturdier, more durable furniture that can withstand
some wear and tear. Handmedowns from relatives or friends can meet the need. A mattress and box spring on a metal frame are just as good as an expensive bed frame, and a futon on the floor is even
cheaper. Check www.freecycle.org first for free furniture. If you can’t find anything there, try craigslist.com, or bulletin boards at religious community centers, supermarkets and businesses. Flea markets, auctions, garage sales and tag sales are also good sources, although they pose an impulse buy
temptation.

You may find it helpful to read the chapter “Should she parent alone?”in our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy" to learn more about housing.

Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!  

Return of Multi-Generational Homes

The Pew Research Center recently released its findings about multiple generations living in the same house together.

"As of 2008, a record 49 million Americans, or 16.1% of the total U.S. population, lived in a family household that contained at least two adult generations or a grandparent and at least one other generation, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of census data."

With a pregnant daughter, you may be a part of this demographic. Will your daughter and your grandchild be living in your house after your daughter gives birth? Or will you be raising your grandchild while your daughter lives elsewhere?

"Of the 49 million Americans living in a multi-generational family household... 6% are in a "skipped" generation household made up of a grandparent and grandchild, but no parent."

This situation, where the grandparents are raising a grandchild while the parent lives elsewhere, occurs about 7% of the time among Caucasians, 4% of the time among Latinos, 13% of the time among Blacks, and 1% of the time among Asians.

While the economy is a factor, another reason that multiple generations are living together includes the trend of young people getting married at an older age than previously.

"The typical man now marries for the first time at age 28 and the typical women at age 26. For both genders, this is about five years older than it was in 1970."

We've discussed housing issues several times in this blog. Click on the "Housing" topic link below for more entries about housing. We list discussion topics about housing in the chapter "Should She Parent Alone?" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy."

Resource: Southern Nevada Children First

Las Vegas TV News 3 has a video and article about Southern Nevada Children First, a program that helps "young mothers who don't have a home....[and] gives young mothers a place to stay while helping them to receive an education or search for a job." Up to seven young mothers and their babies can stay in the central Las Vegas home associated with Southern Nevada Children First. The two-year program gives 17 to 22-year-old homeless mothers a place to stay and a plan to get on their feet.

One 17-year-old mother, who asked to not be identified, knows what it's like to be homeless.
"My boyfriend had beat me and I had nowhere to go. I've been on the streets multiple times for multiple lengths of times." She still fears for her safety even though she's in a better place now.
"It really feels like a home; it doesn't feel like a shelter or a place you are staying because you don't have anywhere else to go. They helped me get into college so I am officially a college student. I want to get a full-time job and then transition to my own apartment and have my own place."

If your pregnant daughter can not live with you after the baby is born, where will she live? With other family? With friends? Does she need your help to find a program like this that will help her get on her feet? Call your local pregnancy resource center to see if they have referrals for housing. You may find it helpful to read our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" because it discusses the many decisions that you and your pregnant daughter are facing about housing during pregnancy, finishing her education, legal issues, medical issues, skill building and life options after the baby is born.

Researching Maternity Homes

What are some reasons your pregnant daughter might consider a maternity home?

• Potential abuse from the birthfather, the boyfriend, or others in her life
• Pressure from the boyfriend or others to have an abortion
• The need to allow "space" and time for the healing of family relationships
• An unstable home life
• Limited life skills and decision-making skills
• The temptation of drug or alcohol abuse
• The need to save money for housing and other needs

Each maternity home program is different. As you research maternity homes, find out what kind of housing they offer, what meals are provided, and what access they have to medical care, transportation, supervision, and counseling. Does the program offer education on communication techniques, household management, budgeting, and other life skills? Is there access to education or job training?

Here are a few other questions to ask each program:

• How long has the ministry been in existence?
• How long has the current staff been in place?
• What are the age requirements, and what is the average age of residents?
• Is it a family setting or an institutional setting?
• What are the requirements for coming to the home?
• What programs are offered, and what do they include?
• What is the parenting-adoption ratio?
• What follow-up services are available?
• What sort of after-care is available?
• You should also request references of families who were served by the maternity home.
• Are pre-admission visits and tours available?
• What are the house rules?

Information in this post was summarized from "Searching for Home Sweet Maternity Home" by Paula E. Smith, in the Spring 2002 "At The Center" magzine.

Jump Start House

The News Tribune (of Washington State) recently ran an article titled "Jump Start: Helping young moms set sail". This article describes the Jump Start house as "one of a very few in Pierce County designed especially for young pregnant women and their babies." It can house "up to four 18- to 25-year-old women who are either pregnant or have children" but is often full and turns away more than a dozen requests for housing each month.

Just like other maternity homes (see our previous post about maternity homes), there are rules:

• "Residents must pay a third of their income for rent, whether that comes from state welfare benefits or job earnings."
• "They’re also responsible for buying their own food, though they typically qualify for food stamps."
• "They must participate in weekly “house group” gatherings and individual meetings with case manager Seyler."
• "They must go to school or work 20 hours a week."
• "The women sign a lease to live in the home for one year, though the stay can be extended for an additional year."
• "They’re also subject to surprise midnight bed checks from case managers."
• "Boyfriends aren’t allowed to stay overnight."

The article concludes with information on other resources in that area: "Lakewood Area Shelter Association provides temporary, transitional and permanent housing and help with rent for people throughout Pierce County, including pregnant women ages 18 to 25. The association also accepts donations of single beds, cribs, dressers, vegetable starts and gardening equipment. For information, call 253-581-8689."

"New Beginnings Home in Puyallup provides housing for pregnant women, including those under 18 if parents make a voluntary placement agreement. For information, call Debi Musick at 253-232-7318."

If your pregnant daughter will be living at home with you during her pregnancy (and/or after the baby is born), you may consider making a contract with her that includes the ideas above. The contract could specify how much rent she will pay to you, her contribution to food and cooking duties, that she must attend counseling meetings once a week at a Pregnancy Help Center, that she must go to school and/or have a job, and other rules. We discuss contracts such as these in the chapter "Should She Parent Alone?" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy".

New pregnant teen program in Nevada

St. Jude’s Ranch for Children has responded to one of the greatest unmet needs for children in Southern Nevada with the opening of the Pregnant and Parenting Teen Program.

The Program provides “at-risk” mothers ages 10 to 17 years old the opportunity to receive training in parenting, job and life skills as well as social, academic and independent living skill development. Individualized and group therapy are also offered and all are delivered while focusing on the mother's health care needs throughout her pregnancy.

The facility is large enough to accommodate a teen mother in private quarters through the pregnancy stages and after the arrival of her new baby. In addition to a parenting curriculum, all the girls will attend the local public high school and receive individualized case monitoring provided by trained and caring staff. The Program residents will be able to stay until they are ready to transition to independent living or until they turn 20 years old. Working in the community and learning how to become a self sufficient and productive parent and member of society are core skills these young women will learn as residents of the St. Jude’s Ranch for Children Pregnant and Parenting Teen Program.

Real Stories: Carla & Darlene

These are the stories of two real women who found help at the Darlene Bishop Home for Life. Their names have been changed.

Carla - "Growing up in an abusive environment, a dysfunctional way of life became my norm. This triggered a chain of self-destructive events and soon I began walking down a path of mutiny and rebellion. I became the definition of a defiant and "out of control" teen. Desperate for attention and the need to be loved, I became drawn to the wrong crowd and entered into many damaging relationships. Shortly after turning 18, I became pregnant. Only after hitting the point of complete desperation and on the verge of having an abortion, I finally accepted help. When I arrived at the Home for Life, I felt lifeless and drained. In the seven months of my stay I have surrendered my life to Jesus Christ and His plan for me. The tears shed washed away the feelings of guilt and shame being harbored towards my past. With newfound confidence, I have currently finished my second term in college and am on the Merit list with a 4.0 GPA. I'm very optimistic about my future with my child and family. I am very grateful for the opportunity to come to such a remarkable place. It has been a blessing from God Himself. When I have my baby, I will be returning home to my family. I will never forget the memories made and the moments spent at the Home for Life. It has truly been an unforgettable and lifesaving experience; one of which I wouldn't trade for the world!"

Darlene - "In August my daughter was born. Thanks to the Home for Life, we've made it thus far. I left an abusive marriage [last year] and found out a month later that I was pregnant. At first, I stayed with a friend, and then eventually went to a domestic violence shelter. I found the Home for Life when my case manager suggested that I look into a program like this. At five months pregnant, I took a bus to the Home for Life. I couldn't be happier. I grew up in abusive homes and I don't want to have that repeated for my daughter. She and I are here to allow God to work in our lives and bring healing."

Many maternity homes offer discipleship and spiritual guidance, help the pregnant woman pursue her education, and have support groups and life skills training. Would your pregnant daughter benefit from the structured environment of a residential program? Talk to your daughter and see if she would be open to this type of help. We keep a list of maternity homes in this other post. With your daughter, check them out. If she is interested in some of the programs but doesn't want to live at the maternity home, see if your local pregnancy help center can offer her the educational and support programs.

College and your pregnant daughter

Feminists for Life has a survey asking questions about services colleges provide to assist their pregnant students. See the survey results HERE in pdf format, or read them below. These are questions you should try to get answers for from your daughter's college.

Is there maternity coverage in my (student) healthcare plan?
Without healthcare coverage, a pregnant student will likely fear the cost of carrying a pregnancy to term.
77% of respondents did not know if their student health plan offers maternity coverage.
16% said maternity coverage is not available.
7% indicated that maternity coverage is offered as part of the student health plan.

What about a pediatrician?
Additionally, respondents were asked if insurance riders are available to cover the children of students.
79% said they did not know.
14% said students cannot obtain riders to cover their children.
7% said the school offers riders for student parents to obtain healthcare coverage for their children.
An analysis of the data yielded no statistically significant differences in the responses from students at state, religious, or private colleges on the questions pertaining to healthcare options and availability.

Where would I live?
46% said there is no housing available on campus for parenting students.
31% said they did not know if such housing is available.
22% said housing is available on campus for parenting students.

When asked who could benefit from this housing:
89% said this housing is open to graduate students.
87% said it is available for undergraduates.
73% said foreign students on an education visa would be eligible for residential housing.

What about off-campus housing?
74% of respondents indicated there is housing available near campus for parenting students.
15% said they did not know.
An analysis of the responses showed that students at private schools were less likely than those at state and religious schools to indicate that their campus had housing for parenting students.

Who will take care of my baby when I am in class?
Childcare is one of the most vital resources a college campus can provide for pregnant and parenting students.
45% said their colleges do not offer on-campus childcare.
30% said their schools offer on-campus childcare.
2% said plans are under way.
22% said they did not know if childcare is available.

Can I access on-campus childcare—or are some people’s kids more equal than others?
When asked who has priority access to on-campus childcare, respondents said:
faculty (87%),
administration and staff (83%),
graduate students (79%),
undergraduates (77%), and
foreign students on an education visa (55%).
Most students surveyed (66%) did not know if their school provides referrals to off-campus childcare.

Does anyone know if there is infant care, or how much it costs?
Another barrier to access to childcare for pregnant and parenting students is the issue of infant care, which entails additional staffing and other requirements.
27% of the respondents who affirmed that on-campus childcare is available said infant care is also available.
68% did not know whether their on-campus childcare center would accept infants.
5% stated that the childcare center has an expressed policy against accepting infants.

Who will watch the baby if we go to watch a game?
When asked if the college connects parents to volunteer or paid babysitters,
55% of respondents said they did not know.
27% said the college does not facilitate connections between student parents and babysitters.
17% percent said their college issues some kind of list of babysitters or otherwise facilitates connections between student parents and babysitters.
An analysis of the data showed that students at state schools were more likely than students at private and religious colleges to indicate that their campus offers childcare. Further analysis revealed that students at private colleges were more likely than students at state colleges to indicate that their schools help connect students with babysitters.

What about him?
When asked about child support,
46% of respondents said students are not generally aware of paternity establishment and child support enforcement laws that give fathers rights as well as responsibilities.
45% said they did not know if students are educated about these issues.
54% percent said they did not know if women on their campus are aware of the information they need to establish paternity if the father resists his responsibilities.
41% said they believed women on their campus are aware of this information.

You try walking to campus when you are eight months pregnant!
Ninety-one percent of respondents said their campus does not offer designated parking for pregnant women or parents with infants.
Only 1% said they had seen such designated parking on campus.

If I need to go across campus with a baby, how can we get around?
When asked if their campus is accessible for parents using strollers as well as people using wheelchairs,
87% of students said their campus has elevators, ramps, etc.
7% said their campus is not physically accommodating to those transporting children.
An analysis of this section showed that students at state schools were more likely than students at private schools to deem their college “stroller-accessible.”

And where could I go to change a diaper?
Respondents were also asked if diaper-changing stations are available in restrooms on campus.
23% said they are.
62% said they had not seen diaper changing stations in restrooms.
1 respondent said their campus has plans to install stations.

How would you like to nurse in front of fraternity row?
When asked if there is a private place for women to nurse or pump breast milk,
77% of respondents said “no.”
Only 3% said they knew of such a location on their campus.
20% did not know if their school provides a private place for nursing mothers.

What about flex time and telecommuting options?
Alternative scheduling is the most prevalent resource known or perceived to be available to pregnant and parenting students.
78% of respondents reported that their school offers flexible class times (evening, weekend classes).
53% said their school offers telecommuting or distance learning opportunities.
An analysis of the data based on the type of school indicates that more state schools offer flexible class times, telecommuting and distance learning opportunities.

I’ll be better able to take care of my child if I have a degree.
The financial affairs portion of the survey proved the most difficult for respondents to answer. When asked if loans or scholarships are made available specifically to parenting students,
69% of respondents answered, “I don’t know.”
25% said there are no such financial supports available.
6% said they knew of special loans or scholarships for parenting students.

When asked if loans or scholarships are made available to pay for family housing on or off campus,
67% of respondents said they did not know.
23% said that no such loans or scholarships are available.
9% said there is such financial support.
An analysis of the responses regarding financial aid showed students at state schools were significantly more likely than students at religious schools to indicate there are scholarships or loans available for family housing.

Respondents were also asked if student loans or scholarships are available for childcare costs.
70% said they did not know.
26% said there is no financial support for students seeking childcare.
3% indicated there are loans and scholarships available to cover the cost of childcare.

May I take a “time out”?
Respondents were asked if the athletic department has a protective “red shirt” policy for students on athletic scholarships who become pregnant, allowing them to avoid activities as needed for the duration of the pregnancy and still retain their scholarships.
79% said they did not know if there is such a policy.
4% said the red-shirt designation is applied to pregnant students,
16% said student athletes are not protected from loss of scholarship if they become pregnant.

So where’s our resident “know-it-all”?
When asked if there is a person or central office on campus responsible for helping pregnant and parenting students:
50% said they did not know.
33% said there is no central place for pregnant or parenting students to seek assistance.
16% said there is a person or office in charge of assisting these students.

When asked how they could find information about resources and support for pregnant and parenting students, respondents indicated there are few sources for such information.
40% said they could not find these resources on their campus website.
48% said they did not know if these resources are on the website.
62% said there had been no mention of pregnancy and parenting support in their first-year orientation.
45% said resources for pregnant and parenting students are not in the handbook.
45% did not know.

Educational materials and brochures are the most likely sources of information about resources and support.
17% of respondents said those sources were readily available on their campus.
42% did not know if their college provides educational handouts or brochures to pregnant and
parenting students.
38% said their university does not use educational materials and brochures.

The next most likely source of information about resources is ads and signs on campus.
15% of respondents said they had seen ads or signage on campus that provided information and support for pregnant and parenting students.
56% said they did not believe these materials are used on their campus.

Respondents were asked if resident assistants or residential advisers (RAs) were aware of the scope of pregnancy resources available on and off campus.
30% perceived the RAs to be unaware.
57% said they did not know if their RAs receive any information or training in this area.
In evaluating the differences in responses between students at state, religious, and private colleges, students at state schools were more likely than students at private or religious colleges to indicate that their school provided information for pregnancy support services on the
college’s website.

Feminists for Life encourages all colleges and universities to evaluate the resources available
for pregnant and parenting students on their campuses—as well as how they educate students about these resources—and begin to implement changes to better meet their students’ needs.

How does your college, university or alma mater rate? Take the Pregnancy Resource Survey for yourself!

Feminists for Life is committed to helping schools realize these goals and will continue to advocate for support for pregnant and parenting students across the nation. If you are a college administrator or student activist willing to help pregnant and parenting students on your campus, please contact Feminists for Life’s College Outreach Program Coordinator at coordinator@ffloncampus.org to tell us about the resources and support on your campus, to host a speaker, or to host a Pregnancy Resource Forum.

Living Arrangements - Friends

Your daughter may desire to live with friends during her pregnancy, instead of family. If she is legally old enough to do this (not a minor), you may have little influence on this decision. But if possible, talk to her about the following:

• Will the house/apartment be single-sex only? Or will males be staying the night or cohabiting?
  
• Are her friends a good influence on her? Will they help her eat correctly, exercise, get enough sleep, get to her doctor's appointments or the hospital? Will they help her stay away from smoke (even second-hand smoke), drugs, alcohol, and other things that are harmful to herself and her baby?
• Will she continue to live there after the baby is born? What do her roommates know about infants (how much they sleep and cry, for example)? Will her roommates be willing to learn about the correct ways to help bathe the baby, feed the baby, change diapers, etc?
• Pregnancy can induce mood swings... how do her roommates currently handle the stresses of living together? How likely is it that she will be suddenly kicked out of the house during an argument?
• What do her roommates think about her current plans (marriage, single parenting, adoption)...are they supportive? or will they be ridiculing or undermining her plans?

If your daughter is a minor, her parents or legal guardians are responsible for her care and living with friends (or a friend's family) will not be feasible unless a formal (and legal) guardianship relationship is set up. Talk to a lawyer about what kind of paperwork you and the other family will need for your situation.

Living Arrangements - Maternity Home

In other posts, we've talked about your pregnant single daughter living with you in your home, with relatives, and with friends. This post looks at maternity homes.

Yes, a few maternity homes actually do still exist! If your home and the home of relatives are not going to work (for whatever reason) during your daughter's pregnancy, she may be able to be admitted into a maternity home. Each maternity home is quite different in their admission requirements, programs offered, and rules, so you'll have to do some research. At the pregnancy resource center, we've provided information about maternity homes to hundreds of pregnant girls who request this information. It seems that few girls actually choose to apply to a maternity home once they see that they will have to do chores, keep their rooms clean, etc., but most maternity homes are full at all times anyway. A maternity home is not a free hotel room with maid service and room service. Some pregnant girls imagine that they will have complete freedom and be away from their family like a vacation, but this is not the case. A maternity home is often a great experience for those who need structure, supervision, and pregnancy counseling. However, please do not force your teen into a maternity home if she does not want to be there: this can cause many more problems in the long run than it solves in the short term.

Here are just a few maternity homes. Use your favorite search engine with the keywords "maternity home" and do some browsing. Or call OptionLine at (800) 395-HELP to see if they can help you find the maternity home nearest you. Note that these listings are for your education only, and in no way imply endorsement. Links and summary information were accurate as of July 2011.

Alabama
Lifeline Village (Pell City, Alabama) offers a residential program for pregnant girls between the ages of 10 and 18 who are making an adoption plan for their child.

Arizona
Jesus Cares Ministries (Chandler, Arizona)
Hope House (Show Low, Arizona)
Maggie's Place (Phoenix, Tempe, Glendale Arizona) for women aged 18 or more.

Arkansas
Hannah House (Fort Smith, Arkansas) for women aged 12-29.
Highlands Maternity Home (Hot Springs, Arkansas)


California
Bishop Gallegos Maternity Home (Fair Oaks, California)
Casa de los Angelitos (Harbor City, California) for women aged 18 or more.
His Nesting Place (Long Beach, California) has room for 22 pregnant women and their children.
St. Anne's (Los Angeles, California)
Bethany's House (Modesto, California) for adoption-minded women aged 18 and over.
Casa Teresa (Orange, California) for pregnant women aged 18 and over.
Toby's House (Orange County, California) has a program for pregnant women aged 18 and older.
Knotts Family Agency (San Bernadino, California) for women age 12-17.
Mary's Shelter (Santa Ana, California)
Villa Majella (Santa Barbara, California)
Siena House (Santa Cruz County, California)
Sarah's House (Simi Valley, California)
Angels Way Maternity Home (Woodland Hills, California) for pregnant women aged 18 and older.
TenderLife Maternity Home (Ventura, California) has a program for pregnant women aged 18 and older.
Moses House Ministries (Victorville, California) for pregnant women up to age 25.

Colorado
New Beginnings (Aurora, Colorado) for pregnant women age 16 or more.
Mary's Choice (Baily, Colorado)
Bridgeway (Lakewood, Colorado) for pregnant teens.
Shannon's Hope Maternity Home (Wheat Ridge, Colorado) has a program for pregnant women aged 16 and older.

Connecticut
St. Agnes Home (West Hartford, Connecticut) for women up through age 18.

Florida
Solve Maternity Homes (Bradenton, Florida)
Lifeline Family Center (Cape Coral, Florida) for teens.
Ronda Coon Maternity Home (Fort Walton Beach, Florida) for pregnant women age 18-24.
Arbor House (Gainesville, Florida)
Divine Mercy House (Jacksonville, Florida) for pregnant women aged 18 and older.
Sunlight Home (Naples, Florida)

BETA Center (Orlando, Florida)
Daybreak Maternity Home (Palm Beach, Florida)
His Caring Place (Pompano Beach, Florida ) for pregnant women between the ages of 12 and 24.
Alpha Omega Miracle Home (St. Augustine, Florida)
Alpha House (Tampa, Florida)

Georgia
The Elizabeth Home (Macon, Georgia)
The Living Vine (Savannah, Georgia)
Georgia Baptist Children's Home


Idaho
Maggie's Place (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) for pregnant women aged 18 or more.
The Shepherd's Inn (Idaho Falls, Idaho) for pregnant women aged 18-26.

Illinois

Angels' Cove (Mount Vernon, Illinois)
Cabrini Maternity Home (Peoria, Illinois) for pregnant women aged 12-21.

Indiana
Hannah House Maternity Home (Bloomington, Indiana)
A Friend's House (Bluffton, Indiana)
Childplace (Jeffersonville, Indiana)
St. Elizabeth Catholic Charities Maternity Home (New Albany, Indiana)

Iowa
Ruth Harbor (Des Moines, Iowa)

Kansas
Bethlehem House (El Dorado, Kansas)
Mary Elizabeth Maternity Home (Hayes, Kansas)

Kentucky
Mercy Maternity Home (Erlanger, Kentucky)
Lifehouse Center (Louisville, Kentucky)

Louisiana
Sellers Maternity Home (Baton Rouge, Louisiana) houses women under the age of 21.

Maine
St Andre Home (Biddeford, Maine)

Maryland
St. Ann's Infant and Maternity Home (Hyattsville, Maryland) has a program for pregnant girls aged 13 - 19.

Massachusetts
My Father's House (North Chelmsford, Massachusetts) 

Michigan
Father Pat Jackson House (Ann Arbor, Michiga)
Hannah's House (Kalamazoo, Michigan)

Minnesota
New Beginnings (St. Cloud, Minnesota)

Mississippi
The Christmas Village (Madison, Mississippi)

Missouri
Lighthouse Maternity Home (Kansas City, Missouri)

Montana
Florence Crittendon Home (Helena, Montana) for women aged 12-21.

Nevada
Saint Jude's Ranch for Children (Boulder City, Nevada) for women aged 10-17.
Southern Nevada Children First (Las Vegas, Nevada). Up to seven young mothers and their babies can stay in the central Las Vegas home associated with Southern Nevada Children First. The two-year program gives 17 to 22-year-old homeless mothers a place to stay and a plan to get on their feet.

New Hampshire
His Mansion: New Beginnings (Hillsboro, New Hampshire)

New Jersey



New York



North Carolina
Angel House Maternity Home (Charlotte, North Carolina) for pregnant women aged 15 and older.
Florence Crittenton Services (Charlotte, North Carolina)
Lois' Lodge Maternity Home (Charlotte, North Carolina)
Save the Babies House of Refuge (Fayetteville, North Carolina)
Room at the Inn of the Carolinas (Kernersville, North Carolina)
Christian Life Home (Raleigh, North Carolina) for women aged 10-23.
The Royal Home (Salemburg, North Carolina)

North Dakota
Saint Gianna Maternity Home (Minto, North Dakota)
The Perry Center (West Fargo, North Dakota)

Ohio
Harbor House (Ohio) offers housing to pregnant girls under the age of 19.
Hannah's Home (northeastern Ohio) for pregnant teens under the age of 18.
Darlene Bishop Home for Life (Monroe, OH) for women aged 18 and older.

Oklahoma
Holy Family Maternity Home (Oklahoma City, Oklahoma) for pregnant teens aged 12-17.

Oregon
Grandma's House (Bend, Oregon) for women aged 12-19.
Bethany House (Gresham, Oregon)
Safe Haven Maternity Home (Roseburg, Oregon)

Pennsylvania
House of His Creation (Coatesville, Pennsylvania) for pregnant women between the ages of 12 and 19.
Lourdeshouse Maternity Home (Enhaut, Pennsylvania)
Morning Star Maternity Home (Lansdale, Pennsylvania) for pregnant women between the age of 13 and 25.
Shepherd's Maternity House (East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania)

South Carolina
Butterfly House (Blackville, South Carolina)

Tennessee
New Life Maternity Home (Cleveland, Tennessee)
Hope House (Kingsport, Tennessee)
Mercy Ministries (Nashville, Tennessee)

Texas
Christian Homes & Family Services (Abilene, Texas)
Promise House (Dallas, Texas)

Mercy House (Euless, Texas)
Annunciation Maternity Home (Georgetown, Texas) offers housing to pregnant women over the age of 14.
Hannah House Maternity Home (Glen Rose, Texas)
Lifehouse of Houston (Houston, Texas) for pregnant women age 12-24.
Methodist Mission Home (San Antonio, Texas)
Fatherheart Maternity Home (Tyler, Texas)

Utah



Virginia
Liberty Godparent Home (Lynchburg, Virginia)

Washington
Life Services Maternity Home (near Spokane, Washington) for pregnant teens under the age of 19.

Special Delivery (Woodinville, Washington)


New Beginnings Home in Puyallup provides housing for pregnant women, including those under 18 if parents make a voluntary placement agreement. For information, call Debi Musick at 253-232-7318.

Wisconsin
New Beginnings (Fond du Lac, Wisconsin) for pregnant women age 18 and older.
Marion House (Green Bay, Wisconsin) has a group home for pregnant minors up to age 17, and an apartment building for women aged 18-21.
Gerard Hall (part of Franciscan Skemp Residential Programs) (La Crosse, Wisconsin). 800-362-5454, Ext. 23985 (answered 24/7; ask for Gerard Hall)
Elizabeth House (Madison, Wisconsin)
The Hannah Center (Marshfield, Wisconsin) for pregnant women aged 18-30.
A Place of Refuge (Milwaukee, Wisconsin) for pregnant women age 18 and older.
Seven Sorrows of Our Sorrowful Mother Infant's Home (Necedah, Wisconsin), 800-362-5721.
Genesis House of SE Wisconsin (Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin)
The Linden Cherish Place (Waukesha, Wisconsin) for pregnant women ages 18-21.
Beth-Birei (Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin)

For more posts about housing, click the label "Housing" below. There you'll find posts about your pregnant daughter living in your home, and about her living with relatives. You may find it helpful to read our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" because it discusses the many decisions that you and your pregnant daughter are facing about housing during pregnancy, finishing her education, legal issues, medical issues, skill building and life options after the baby is born.

Living Arrangements: Relatives

Does your pregnant single daughter need to live somewhere besides your own home during her pregnancy? Maybe she needs to get away from the baby's father for her own safety (physical, mental, etc.)? You have a few options to examine carefully, depending on your daughter's age and your resources (financial resources being the primary factor). We discuss these options in chapter 27 "Should She Parent Alone?" of our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy: Practical Advice for the Parents of a Christian Pregnant Single".

First, your daughter could go live with someone in your family (her grandparents, aunts & uncles, etc.). Other alternatives will be discussed in separate posts later this week.

Which relatives should you approach with the idea of your daughter staying with them during her pregnancy? There are a lot of factors to discuss, and you'll probably want to have a solid agreement with the other family (maybe even in writing).

For example, the relatives MUST have accessible prenatal care for your daughter. Do the medical practitioners there accept the medical insurance that covers your daughter?

Which relatives are able to provide the level of supervision appropriate for your daughter?

Though the world is rarely ideal, it would be beneficial if the relatives have opportunities that are an improvement over your daughter's current situation: Are there educational opportunities for your daughter that are not available at your own home? Are there part-time jobs available? Is there a pregnancy resource center near their house that can provide pregnancy education, adoption education, parenting education, and peer mentoring?

What rules and privleges will your daughter have to follow at the relatives' house? How will the relatives enforce these? What will be the consequence if your daughter just will not follow the rules?

For example, what rules are there about her access to the Internet, or to the phone? Will she have her own transportation or need to be driven around? What will she need to contribute to household chores or even household expenses? Will your relatives charge rent?

Where will your daughter give birth? When will your daughter return to your home?

Talking about these issues up front will help to avoid misunderstandings and hard feelings later.

For more posts about housing issues, click the label "Housing" below. There you'll find posts about your pregnant daughter living at your home, and about her living in a maternity home, among other topics.

Share with us in the comments (anonymously if you prefer): Has someone in your family housed a pregnant relative? What were the benefits and the hardships? What tips can you share?

Your pregnant daughter in your home

The topic of a daughter moving back in with you has been on the minds of readers recently, with queries such as "dealing with daughter with baby moving back in" and "living arrangements for pregnant teens".

CNN recently had an article about ways to cope when family needs to move in with you. You might encounter this situation when your daughter who was living away from home becomes pregnant and needs to move back in with you for any reason. So in addition to the stresses you and she face in making decisions about her pregnancy with your grandchild, you both now have the stresses of adjusting to a new housing arrangement. If she is moving back in with you because a relationship ended, or she lost a job, or some other emotional trauma, there is also that tension to deal with.

The CNN article gives some tips on coping. First, both sides should talk openly about their feelings about the new living situation. There is likely to be resentment on both sides, and feelings that personal freedoms have been invaded. If you can both recognize your feelings and share them openly yet politely, you can all be aware that everyone is making a sacrifice.

Second, while you may not decide to make a formal contract with your daughter, you should at least discuss and agree on several things ahead of time, such as the following. We discuss these issues in the chapter "Should She Parent Alone?" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy: Practical Advice for the Parents of a Christian Pregnant Single."

• Will your daughter pay you rent? How much?
• Will she share part of the expenses for utilities? How much?
• Will she buy her own groceries, or will she contribute to a grocery fund?
• Your daughter should not be considered a guest, and you are not her maid service. Thus she should do her own laundry (does she need to provide her own soap, or just pay you for soap used?), wash her own dishes (or take turns where you each wash ALL the dishes), pick up after herself, and help with household chores and errands.
• Schedule a regular family meeting time where you can have a "preventive, proactive conversation, which changes the whole tone from frozen no-talk to 'we're teammates and we want this to work.'" Don't let small complaints mushroom...talk about them quickly and brainstorm ways to change the situation.
• Talk regularly to plan an exit strategy. Talk about what housing options are available to her and how she could afford them to return to more independence. This exit may be several years down the road, and that's okay as long as you all keep talking about it and moving towards the goal in practical steps.
• Know that you're not alone. We mention this in nearly every post, related to nearly every topic. You are not the only family going through these trials. If you need someone to talk to, see if there is a support group at a local church, join a small group Bible study and get prayer support, get counsel from a pastor or Christian counselor, and reach out to your own extended family.

Don't allow hardships to destroy your family... be proactive in drawing the family together for mutual support. You can come out of this closer and stronger instead of wounded, if you make the choices to do so.

If your pregnant daughter is not able to live in your home for any reason, we've also blogged about her living with relatives, friends, and at a maternity home.

What problems have you found when your pregnant daughter moved back in with you? What tips do you have to share with other readers?