Thursday, June 12, 2008

Living Arrangements - Friends

Your daughter may desire to live with friends during her pregnancy, instead of family. If she is legally old enough to do this (not a minor), you may have little influence on this decision. But if possible, talk to her about the following:
  • Will the house/apartment be single-sex only? Or will males be staying the night or cohabiting?
  • Are her friends a good influence on her? Will they help her eat correctly, exercise, get enough sleep, get to her doctor's appointments or the hospital? Will they help her stay away from smoke (even second-hand smoke), drugs, alcohol, and other things that are harmful to herself and her baby?
  • Will she continue to live there after the baby is born? What do her roommates know about infants (how much they sleep and cry, for example)? Will her roommates be willing to learn about the correct ways to help bathe the baby, feed the baby, change diapers, etc?
  • Pregnancy can induce mood swings... how do her roommates currently handle the stresses of living together? How likely is it that she will be suddenly kicked out of the house during an argument?
  • What do her roommates think about her current plans (marriage, single parenting, adoption)...are they supportive? or will they be ridiculing or undermining her plans?
If your daughter is a minor, her parents or legal guardians are responsible for her care and living with friends (or a friend's family) will not be feasible unless a formal (and legal) guardianship relationship is set up. Talk to a lawyer about what kind of paperwork you and the other family will need for your situation.

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