Help your pregnant daughter with: Job Skills

The other day we posted about the topic "How much should parents help their pregnant single daughter?"We've received this question is various forms. Another way this has been phrased is "How does a mom support her pregnant daughter?" Keywords we've seen on our statistics include phrases like "helping your pregnant daughter." That post focused on the minimum basics of safe housing, nutrition, and medical care. Today let's talk about some other help beyond the minimum basics.

Beyond the minimum basics of housing, nutrition, and medical care, parents of a pregnant teen or college student should consider how they might help with these goals:

1. Helping your daughter remain in school until graduation.
2. Preventing subsequent adolescent pregnancies.
3. Improving parenting skills.
4. Locating and using community resources.
5. Stabilizing family support systems.
6. Strengthening employability skills and efforts to become economically self-sufficient. (Today's topic)

Again, your motive of considering these kinds of help is not to reward your daughter's sexual activity and pregnancy outside of marriage, but to help get her on the road to independence and to help give your grandchild a better start in life. Today's topic is:

6. Strengthening employability skills and efforts to become economically self-sufficient.

Obviously, the exact skills your daughter needs in order to get a desirable job will vary depending on the type of work. But there are several general skills that will benefit her no matter what kind of job she is seeking.

First, finishing her basic education (a high school diploma or GED) is very beneficial. Read the chapter "Completing School" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" for more information. If your daughter does not know what kind of job would interest her, find career counseling for her. If she is in public school, do the guidance counselors have career interest surveys that can help her find an area of interest? Career guidance may also be available from paid professionals, counselors, and agencies.

The American Education Services lists these general employment skills:

Strong Work Ethic – Employers want workers who are reliable, dependable, and self-motivated. Have your daughter rate herself on these three traits. How reliable does she feel she is? Is she more reliable in some areas than in others? For example, is she reliable in picking up a friend on time, but less reliable in cleaning her room? On the job, does she show up on time? Does she get her job tasks done correctly and on time? How dependable does your daughter feel she is? If an unpleasant task really needs to be done, does your daughter do it or does she procrastinate? How self-motivated does your daughter feel she is? Does she require bribes to do her chores or get good grades? Does she have dreams, goals and plans for her future? On the job, does she pro-actively take care of problems, or does she only do what she is ordered to do?

Time Management Skills – Planning and following a schedule, listing the tasks you need to complete, and estimating how long it will take. Talk with your daughter about these skills. How would she rate herself on her ability to make and follow a schedule? Is she able to create to-do lists and successfully complete those activities? On the job, does she faithfully follow her work schedule? Is she able to coordinate her work schedule with other things like school and church?

Problem-Solving Skills – Be able to identify a problem, develop solutions, and implement the solutions. How does your daughter rate herself on her problem-solving skills? On the job, is she able to figure out how to solve problems that arise?

Communication Skills – Verbal communication includes speaking and listening. Written communication includes reading and writing. It is vital that your daughter develop ALL of these skills. How does your daughter rate herself on her verbal communication skills? How about her written communication skills? If one area is stronger than the other, brainstorm with her how she could improve her skills.

"People" Skills – The ability to work well with others, based on trust and mutual respect. How does your daughter rate her people skills? What could she do to improve these skills?

Computer Skills – Be able to use word processing and spreadsheet programs, e-mail, and the Internet. How does your daughter rate her computer skills? Many schools, libraries and other agencies offer free or low-cost classes to improve these important job skills.

To be economically self-sufficient, your daughter needs to figure out how much it costs to live and then figure out what kind of job would pay her enough to cover her expenses. The chapter titled "Should She Parent Alone?" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" guides you and your daughter through the exercises of making a budget, and also developing a contract that specifies her privileges and responsibilities if she will be living in your home although many of these responsibilities should be reflected in her budget.