Thanks for stopping by our blog! You can read about previous episodes of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" by clicking the label "Media" here or at the end of this post. You can watch some of the episodes online here (click the tab called "Full Episode"). Here are a few points from Episode 9, with some items to discuss with your teens.Amy's mom and Ben's dad are talking over pizza.
Amy's mom says (about Amy's pregnancy), "I want this not to be happening." Most people surrounding a pregnant single (including the pregnant woman herself) experience a grief cycle centered on the pregnancy. If you can realize where you are in the grief cycle, it will help you cope with the emotions you're feeling instead of being bewildered about why you're feeling the way you do. The grief cycle starts with shock and denial, where you say "I can't believe this is happening." Next are anger and bargaining. After that is depression. Finally you should start to move towards acceptance. You may find it helpful to read the chapter "Hearing the Shocking News" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" to learn more about the grief cycle surrounding pregnancy.
Ben's dad says, "But it is. And it's going to be happening whether she goes to extension class or she's homeschooled or goes back to her old school." Your pregnant daughter probably has a few choices to help her finish her current educational program. With her, research all the options and write out the pros and cons of each. But finishing her education is very important for the future of everyone involved, so she needs to pick an option and follow through.
Amy's mom says, "I can't even get her to leave the house anymore." Ben's dad responds, "She's got to get over that. She can't hide her face in shame. What happened, happened. .... You'll get through this and Amy will get through this. Don't let her hide from people, and don't you hide from people. ... Don't let Amy feel like she's any less of a person than she was before this happened. Because she's not, and neither are you." You may find it helpful to read the chapters "Trying to hide", "Where will we be in a year?" and "Our hope for the next five years" to help you put the current crisis into a longer-term perspective.
Amy is talking to her dad about her not wanting to return to school because kids at her school are mean. It is likely that your family will feel uncomfortable in your current social circles. You may find it helpful to read the chapter "Forgiving unkind acquaintances" for strategies to deal with mean people. Talk to your pregnant daughter about the kids at her school. Is she in physical danger there? What hurtful things are people saying to her or about her? Get your daughter counseling to help heal these emotional wounds, and take any steps necessary to safeguard her physical safety at school.
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy also has a discussion guide for episode 9 (pdf).
We blogged about each episode in season one: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.
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