Download yourself a copy of the online booklet called "Relationship Redux: Tips and Scripts for Talking to your Kids about Relationships" (by Bill Albert and Jessica Sheets).
This booklet says:
FAST FACT: 13% of same-age relationships among those aged 12-14 include sexual intercourse. If the partner is just two older, that number doubles: 26% of the relationships include sex. If the partner is three or more years older, 33% of the relationships include sex.
TIP: Group activities among young people are fine, often fun, and can be a terrific way to develop relationships that are not necessarily of the intense, bf/gf variety. Steady, frequent, one-on-one dating much before age 16 is another story altogether. In particular, be very cautious about letting your teenage son/daughter develop an intense relationship with
someone who is three or more years older. For example, research makes clear that romantic relationships between very young teens significantly increase the risk of too-early and unwanted sex. Dating in the presence of large age differences is similarly a high-risk proposition.
On all of these matters—group dating, early dating, or dating someone older—don’t wait until your young teen proposes a plan that differs from your preferences in this area otherwise he/she will think you just don’t like the particular person or invitation.
Begin laying the groundwork and ground rules long before dating is even an option.
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