Your Adoption Rights

Bethany.org, one of many adoption agencies, lists these Rights of Expectant Parents

In the past, many expectant parents have not chosen adoption because they have little control or influence on what the future will hold for their child. In today's adoptions, an expectant parent plays the central role in deciding on what type of an adoption plan is best for her and her child while being cared for throughout the adoption planning process. As an expectant parent considering an adoption plan, you have the right to:

1. Be treated with dignity and respect, not judgment or criticism.
2. Explore all of your options in a non-directive, non-coercive environment, including parenting and all levels of openness in adoption.
3. Be fully informed about your legal rights during the decision-making stage.
4. Choose the prospective adoptive family if this is what you want to do. (Almost all, if not all, states allow this).
5. Develop an adoption plan with your social worker and the adoptive family.
6. Spend time in the hospital with your baby.
7. Make the decision about adoption after the birth of the baby. Planning for adoption does not make it a definite decision and an adoption plan does not become definite until you sign legal papers releasing your rights.
8. Sign relinquishment (consent or release) papers when you are ready.
9. Have your questions answered honestly and completely, at any stage.
10. Have your relationship with your child acknowledged and your grief and loss recognized.
11. Change agencies or attorneys if you feel that your rights are not being respected.
12. Receive post -placement support.

You may find it helpful to read the chapters titled "Should She Make an Adoption Plan?", "Should We Adopt the Baby?", "Should They Marry?" and "Should She Parent Alone?" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy."

November is National Adoption Month. Take time to research adoption with your pregnant daughter, along with single parenting and marriage. Then, no matter which of these roads she chooses, she can feel confident that the decision was made with care and thought instead of off-handedly. When things are tough in the future (because life can be hard no matter what we choose), she can remind herself that she actively chose her road instead of saying "I wish I had considered ______."