This miracle of God's grace was shared by the adoptive mother, called Caitlin*, and the baby's birthgrandmother, Gene*, at the Assist Pregnancy Center Fellowship Dinner in September, 2000.
*=Names have been changed but the story is true.
September 20, 1997
Gene: A phone call after midnight? Is someone hurt or dead? Our friend says his daughter told him Lisa* (our daughter) is pregnant and she plans to get an abortion in the morning. This must be a nightmare...
Caitlin: I can't believe how God has blessed us. Mary*, our daughter, is growing into such a beautiful child. Two years ago, I feared we would not have children. Now, when I look at here, I dream of adding to our family...Will God bless us with a second miracle?
September 21, 1997
Gene: A dear friend from church is a Crisis Pregnancy Center counselor and she met with Lisa this morning. Afterwards, Lisa agreed that abortion was not an option. She was so scared she simply fell into the choice and saw it as the only way out. Our friend offered hope for what was ahead. But how can my baby be having a baby?
September 25, 1997
Gene: Our special friend at Assist met with Lisa and me today. She listened to our dilemma with such compassion and understanding. She helped us see that we were not alone in this awful situation and that God is still in control. Assist has so many ways to help and comfort ... from prenatal classes and support groups to baby clothes and equipment. Lisa will meet with a counselor regularly for a while. They may even put me in touch with other parents who have faced this. But how will our family survive this?
January, 1998
Caitlin: We decided to begin our search for another child. But where do we start?
Gene: Lisa's pregnancy is in the 5th month. It feels like 5 years. So many "foggy" days, filled with emotional turmoil. Assist has continued to work with us, offering love and support. Helping us think through the choice before us: Should Lisa choose to parent or to make an adoption plan for her baby? Assist gave us a workbook that we completed together. It forced us to talk through how we would support Lisa if she chose to parent. What does that cost? How would she earn money? Who would care for the baby while she worked or continued to study? We kept asking God to reveal His plan. We try to learn how others have responded to these circumstances. Oh, Lord, why did this happen to our family?
February, 1998
Caitlin: In February we felt a strong leading that God had a child for our family, but where was he? We spoke with a number of adoption agencies and sent out some pictures of our family to an adoption attorney, but we still had no clear direction.
Gene: Lisa keeps changing her mind. One day she thinks she will parent, the next day she wants to look at profiles of couples seeking to adopt. She insists that she will place only if she can have an open adoption and continuing relationship with the baby and family. This kind of arrangement is growing more common, say the counselors. I am losing hope after looking at profiles from more than 100 families. The due date is only 8 weeks away. Lord, what do you want us to do? Is there a couple who would want to share their lives with us this way?
Caitlin: We met with some wonderful people who assist couples to adopt orphans from Russia. The pictures were amazing, the children are so beautiful. Who do we pick? How do we find the child that God has selected for us? With these difficult decisions before us, Bill fasts and prays over the weekend, seeking a clear signal of God's will. If we receive no clear signal we have decided to commit to adopt a Russian orphan.
March, 1998
Gene: We met with a Christian attorney today to talk about legal implications of Lisa choosing to parent. What rights will the father have and what child support can she expect? As we ended the meeting, the attorney gestured to a stack of profiles, sent to her by people who are seeking children to adopt. The photo on top caught Lisa's eye and she noted the name of the family. Where will this lead us? Was that a "divine appointment," Lord?
Caitlin: March 16. I received a phone call. It looks like God has answered our prayers with a clear signal. The girl on the other end asked how I would like a brother for Mary. She saw a picture of Mary yesterday and fell in love with her. We will meet her and her family.
Gene: I am rejoicing, Lord! We met the most wonderful couple tonight. They visited us with their adorable 2-year-old daughter. It could only be described as love at first sight! They love the Lord and love children. Caitlin worked as a labor and delivery nurse before they had Mary. Lisa really likes this fine young couple. They seem willing to consider our desire for an open adoption and ongoing relationship. We feel like the Lord confirmed this family immediately as we are all in agreement.
Caitlin: Another miracle appears to be in the works. Lisa is a wonderful and beautiful girl. She is seeking the best for the child she is carrying and the thought that that may mean that we be his parents fills us with awe. How can we be worthy of such a blessing?
September, 2000
Nearly three years later, it still overwhelms me when I pause to think about it. This beautiful child before you is a miracle on so many levels.
Gene: Dear Lord, I can't believe it has been three years since we first learned of the pregnancy. How You have redeemed this painful situation and blessed all of us! Our grandson's adoptive parents have adopted our whole family! Our kids and their kids get along so well. Lisa visits and baby-sits for them when she is home from college and talks often with Caitlin by phone. Sometimes it seems like they are sisters. I still can hardly believe the amazing way You demonstrate Your love for us, Jesus. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of life.
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November is National Adoption Month. Take time to research adoption with your pregnant daughter, along with single parenting and marriage. Then, no matter which of these roads she chooses, she can feel confident that the decision was made with care and thought instead of off-handedly. When things are tough in the future (because life can be hard no matter what we choose), she can remind herself that she actively chose her road instead of saying "I wish I had considered ______."
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