Secret Life of the American Teenager - Season 1 Episode 15

Thanks for stopping by our blog! You can read about previous episodes of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" by clicking the label "Media" here or at the end of this post. You can watch some of the episodes online here (click the tab called "Videos"). Here are a few points from Season 1 Episode 15, with some items to discuss with your teens.

The summary for this episode reads "Amy has a chance to learn the sex of her baby. Ricky breaks up with Grace."

Ben wants to go with Amy to the doctor's appointment to be with her during the sonogram and take pictures. Ben's dad points out that this is a very personal and emotional moment, that Amy probably doesn't want Ben there. When Ben asks Amy, he is surprised to find out that his dad was right...Amy thinks it would be very awkward for Ben to be at the sonogram. Ben asks Amy to think about letting him be present at the birth of the baby, which she also feels would be very awkward.

Talk to your pregnant daughter about her thoughts about giving birth. Who would she be comfortable with being there? You might find it helpful to read the chapters "The baby is born" and "The dedication service" in our book "How to Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" because they help your daughter make plans for her birth experience.

Amy's family learns that Ricky's dad is seeking to make a profit from the adoption of Amy's baby. Fortunately, the adoption process through a legal and reputable agency or lawyer is carefully regulated. The Complete Adoption Book: Everything You Need to Know to Adopt a Child has a section called "Supporting a Birth Mother Financially" (which you can read online here, look near the bottom of the page) which gives a good overview of what financial help a birth mother might be able to ask for. State law dictates what an adopting family can and can not pay for. This book section says, "All such financial assistance should be handled through your agency or attorney. Your attorney should give the final approval, with funds coming through his trust account. In most states, a judge must approve these expenses, usually at the time of the adoption hearing." So if someone interested in adopting your daughter's child is pressuring you to handle things differently, be very wary. Some expenses that your pregnant daughter who is choosing adoption may be able to ask for help with include: medical care (if she is not covered by insurance and does not qualify for medicaid), counseling during the pregnancy and up to six weeks after birth, living expenses (rent, phone, utilities, food, gas, etc.), and lost wages. Talk to your agency or attorney about your needs.

At the end of the episode, Amy starts making a video for her son, explaining her reasons for choosing adoption. She explains how her entire family loves him, and all her friends love him too. Amy says, "And that's why we want to make sure you have the best home possible, with the best family possible. I'm going to do whatever I have to do to make sure that happens for you. To make sure you get all that life has to offer, because that's what my parents did for me."

Talk with your pregnant daughter about this. What qualities does she desire for the "best home possible" and the "best family possible" for her child? Is she able to provide those qualities with your help? Is someone else in your family able to better meet those qualities? Or would finding an adoptive home better meet those qualities? No family is perfect. Urge your daughter to take the time to learn about adoption, to think about parenting and adoption, and take the time to make a careful decision no matter what she chooses.

Call your local pregnancy resource center to see what education they can offer on pregnancy, parenting, relationship skills, financial skills, adoption, and decision making skills. You may find it helpful to read the chapters "Where does the baby's father belong in all this?", "Should they marry?", "Should she parent alone?", "Should we adopt the baby?" and "Should she make an adoption plan?" in our book "How to Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy."

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has a discussion guide for episode 15 (pdf).

We blogged about each episode in season one: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen.