Secret Life of the American Teenager - Season 1, Episode 13

Thanks for stopping by our blog! You can read about previous episodes of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" by clicking the label "Media" here or at the end of this post. You can watch some of the episodes online here (click the tab called "Videos"). Here are a few points from Season 1 Episode 13, with some items to discuss with your teens.

The summary for this episode reads "Amy and Ben learn their marriage is not legal. Anne and George share a brief reconcilliation. Tom wants to marry his new girlfriend."

The show opens at the wedding parlor where Amy & Ben just got married. Ricky and Grace are talking to Grace's brother Tom and his new girlfriend. Tom wants to marry his new girlfriend Tammy, and Grace keeps saying they can't get married because they don't know each other. Talk to your kids about this. How long do they think they should know someone before marrying them? What kinds of things should they know about the person, and how would they find those things out?

Tom has given Grace's promise ring to his new girlfriend and Grace wants it back. Tom asks, "Why, are you afraid you're going to 'accidentally' have sex with Ricky?" Grace responds, "There's no such thing as accidental sex." Talk to your kids about this. Many people say that they didn't intend to have sex..it somehow 'just happened.' How does this happen? What can your kids do to avoid this?

Adrian is talking to her dad after the wedding and says that Amy is having Ricky's baby but now that she's married to Ben it's Ben's baby. What do your kids think about this logic? If your pregnant daughter will not be marrying her baby's father, what qualities does she want in her future husband? How does she imagine he will feel about raising another man's child?

When Ben is talking to the guidance counselor, Ben says he should have told Amy that he thought it was a bad idea to get married but that he loves her and wants to marry her. Mr. Molina (guidance counselor) says Ben is too young to get married and Amy's parents don't want her to get married. Ben replies, "I think that if she's old enough to have a baby, she's old enough to make this decision." Mr. Molina says, "You think it's a good decision to get married?" Ben answers, "If we had the support of our parents, I would certainly make that committment." Talk to your kids about this conversation. How old do they think they should be before they get married? What do they think about Ben's statement that if Amy is old enough to have a baby she's old enough to decide to get married? How important do your kids think it is that they have your blessing to marry someone? You may find it helpful to read the chapter "Should they marry?" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy."

Amy's mom arrives at Ben's house to confront Amy & Ben about their 'wedding'. Anne says that love is more than a feeling, its about doing the right thing always. Talk to your kids about this. What is love? How can you tell the difference between emotions and real love?

Amy admits she thought that if she married Ben then his dad could pay for a nanny so that Amy could go to school and a job. Amy says that Ricky should help pay for daycare, since he's the father. Ben says he doesn't know if they want Ricky to be involved. Anne reminds them that Ricky is legally involved and he has said he wants to be involved. Amy asks if they can change Ricky's legal status and Anne says she doesn't think so since Ricky wants to be involved. Amy admits she thought that marrying Ben would remove Ricky from the picture. Talk to your pregnant daughter about this. How will her baby's father be invovled in the future? What kind of involvement does he currently desire? Does the baby's father desire co-custody of the child? See if you can work out an agreement (in writing) before involving a lawyer or the courts in any custody dispute. But if agreement is not possible, consult a lawyer. You may find it helpful to read the chapters "Where does the baby's father belong in all this?" and "The importance of a father" in our book "How to Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy."

Anne says they need a plan that can be acted upon. She says Amy needs to figure out how she will arrange childcare so she can go to school and a job, or she needs to think seriously about adoption. Anne says, "Whatever choice you make, Amy, it has to be about what is right for your child, not what is easiest for you." Talk to your pregnant daughter about this conversation. What is her current plan for finishing school, working, and childcare? Has your daughter investigated adoption so she can make an informed decision about whether it is right for her child? You may find it helpful to read the chapters "Should she parent alone?" and "Should she make an adoption plan?" in our book "How to Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy."

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has a discussion guide for episode 13 (pdf).

We blogged about each episode in season one: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.