Secret Life of the American Teenager - Season 1, Episode 14

Thanks for stopping by our blog! You can read about previous episodes of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" by clicking the label "Media" here or at the end of this post. You can watch some of the episodes online here (click the tab called "Videos"). Here are a few points from Season 1 Episode 14, with some items to discuss with your teens.

The summary for this episode reads "Ricky's father arrives in town with a plan for his son and the baby."

Amy is in the open garage talking to Ashley about how she can't find a job as a pregnant teenager. Amy wonders how she will support and raise a child without money from a job. Ashley asks why Ricky can't get a job, since he's not a pregnant teenager. Amy calls Ben to ask what he things about Amy calling Ricky to see what financial help he plans to provide. Ben says he doesn't want Amy to have anything to do with Ricky. Ben says he will get a job, but Amy says it's not his responsibility, it's Ricky's.


Talk to your pregnant daughter about this conversation. What are her current plans for supporting her child? What does her current job pay? If she doesn't currently have a job, what kinds of jobs is she qualified to get? What is the planned involvement of the baby's father? Will he be contributing financially?

As soon as Amy hangs up from talking with Ben, Ricky's dad Bob walks up the driveway to talk to Amy. Amy quickly closes the garage door. So Bob goes to the front door and talks to Amy's dad instead. Bob tells Amy's dad that Ricky is a liar and will not help Amy financially or any other way, no matter what he promises. Bob offers to help the family any way he can, including financially, which Amy's dad is very interested in.

Amy overhears the conversation and sits down with her parents to tell them about Ricky seeing a therapist to help him deal with being sexually abused by his dad when he was young (which is why he claims he's in a foster home). Amy's dad points out that they don't know any facts one way or another, and her mom asks Amy if making a family with Ricky is a good idea. Amy's mom asks, "Wouldn't it be better to find a more stable family? Two responsible adults who want a child, who can afford a child, and who can take care of a child?" Amy replies that she's been thinking about everything her mom has said, so she asks her mom to "Call whoever you call to get a baby adopted." Amy's dad says, "I'm not so sure we should have our grandchild adopted."

It can seem that every decision surrounding your daughter's pregnancy is full of emotion, drama, strong opinions, and hurt feelings. We recommend that every single pregnant woman carefully research all of her options: marriage, single parenting, adoption. That way she can feel confident that she made an informed decision, not just an impulsive or emotional decision. Then, when she has a tough day later, she can look back without saying "I wish I had chosen something else."

Adrian's dad shows up at her apartment and they get to talking about Ricky. Adrian says that Ricky told her he was in a foster home because his parent sold drugs, his mom lives on the streets and his dad is in prison. Adrian's dad says that Ricky's dad is on parole and that he'll be looking for Ricky. Adrian's dad tries to convince her that Ricky doesn't care about her, as evidenced by the fact that he's out on a date with Grace, has fathered a baby with Amy, and yet will be coming over later that night to have sex with Adrian. Ricky laters tells Adrian that his father was in prison for robbing someone. But then tells Grace that his dad was in prison for hitting him "as well as other things" that his mother didn't stop from happening because she was too high.

Ricky's dad finally find Ricky on his date with Grace and says that he met Amy and her parents. He tells Ricky, "You're not planning on keeping the baby, are you? They don't think you'd make a very good father. Neither do I."

Ben and Amy are talking about the baby. Amy says, "I have to consider letting the baby be adopted. Even though I don't want to. I want to marry you and have the baby and live happily ever after. But I know that the baby will have a better chance at happily ever after if I find the right parents for her or him." Ben says, "Why?" Amy replies, "Ben, my baby needs a stable, loving home of two adult parents! We're not adults. And you're not even the father. Ricky is. And his dad is the grandfather. I have to at least consider it." Amy continues, "This can not be a decision based on emotion. This has to be a decision based on what's best for her or him."

Amy then talks to Ricky about considering adoption. She says she wants Ricky to go along with it. She says its about what's best for the baby and Ricky replies, "What if what I think is what's best for the baby is to know his or her birthparents? Maybe what's best for the baby is to grow up in your home, with me coming to see him or her." Amy says, "My parents aren't going to just raise the baby for me." Ricky replies, "Yeah, why should they? Why can't you? Why can't you and me do it? It's not like they're going to kick you out of the house or anything, is it? You'll still have a place to live, food to eat." Amy points out that neither of them have a job or insurance. Ricky replies, "Half the country doesn't have insurance. Half the country doesn't have a job. They don't just put their sons and daughters up for adoption because they can't pay a few bills." Amy says, "We're teenagers. We're in high school. I would like to graduate high school and go to college, have a career and eventually marry Ben. I just want to have a normal life." Ricky says, "I thought this wasn't about you. Amy, you're not going to have a normal life. I don't have a normal life. Lots of people don't have normal lives." Ricky tells Amy and then Ben that he will not agree to adoption.

Talk to your pregnant daughter about these conversations. What points does she agree with? What points does she disagree with? Share your opinions too.

Amy's mom is talking to the pastor about adoption. He asks if that's what Amy wants. Amy's mom says, "Not really. She wants me to raise the baby. She wants to leave the baby with me while she's in school, then when she comes home from school I'll have dinner waiting for her and the baby clean and fed and she can go do her homework and maybe practice her french horn. And then on the weekends she can hang out with Ben and nothing really will have chaged except that there will be a baby." The pastor helps her see that she is acting a bit like Amy, what with divorcing her husband and wanting to go back to school without a job or money and expecting everything to stay pretty much the same.

Call your local pregnancy resource center to see what education they can offer on pregnancy, parenting, relationship skills, financial skills, adoption, and decision making skills. You may find it helpful to read the chapters "Where does the baby's father belong in all this?", "Should they marry?", "Should she parent alone?", "Should we adopt the baby?" and "Should she make an adoption plan?" in our book "How to Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy."

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has a discussion guide for episode 14 (pdf).

We blogged about each episode in season one: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen.