Season 1 Episode 12 - Secret Life of the American Teenager

Thanks for stopping by our blog! You can read about previous episodes of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" by clicking the label "Media" here or at the end of this post. You can watch some of the episodes online here (click the tab called "Videos"). Here are a few points from Season 1 Episode 12, with some items to discuss with your teens.

The summary for this episode reads "After being informed that she will need to find a job to support her baby, Amy makes a rushed decision with Ben."

Amy comes into the kitchen where her mom is having coffee and orders breakfast as if she were at a restaurant. Amy's mom says that sounds good and she'd like the same thing. Amy is confused that her mom isn't making her food and says, "I'm pregnant. I've been in school all week and I'm tired." Mom says she's tired too, suggests that Amy could use some practice cooking, and reminds Amy that when she has the baby she's going to have to take care of the baby and herself too, that the baby is her responsibility. Amy says she thought she would do all of her normal activities (school, band, etc.) and that she assumed that her mom would babysit while she was at school. But Amy's mom says she has to get a job. Amy says, "But where's the baby going to be, Mom, if you're at work and I'm at school?" Mom says, "Well, that's up to you. And it's also up to you to pay for any childcare that comes with the baby, don't you think?" Amy replies, "No, not really."

Talk with your pregnant daughter about her current plans for childcare while she is at school or at a job. How much are you willing to help her with childcare? Will you charge her money for this service? What arrangements will your daughter need to make for the baby when you are not available to provide childcare?

What household activities does your daughter currently help with? Does she know how to cook for herself or the family? What other parenting skills like cooking and cleaning does she currently help with? What household activities does she need to start helping with so that she is able to take care of a family?

Amy's dad comes in to the kitchen and says, "I don't smell any breakfast in here. Grandpa needs a cup of coffee." Though it may be scary, have you started thinking of yourself as a grandparent yet? You should start getting used to this idea, because you are a grandparent now even though the grandchild is not yet outside the womb. Your daughter is also currently a mother, not a mother-to-be. You both need to start thinking of her as a mother and work on getting her the skills she needs to be a good mother.

Amy's mom tells her husband that she wants him to move out and that she wants a divorce. Though this couple has infidelity to deal with in addition to Amy's pregnancy, how is your daughter's pregnancy affecting your own marriage? Are you and your husband able to come together to talk and solve problems, or are you tearing each other apart with blame and anger?

Amy goes to a coffee shop to meet with Ben (saying that she's applying for a job there) and explains that her mom will be getting a job and can't provide childcare. Amy tells Ben they should elope with fake IDs, that same day. Ben agrees to the plan, saying "We were going to get married in a few years anyway, so why not!"

Amy's mom asks Amy how much she'll be making at the coffee shop job and how much childcare will cost. Mom says, "I really hope you can handle working and going to school and being a mother." How much does childcare cost in the various facilities and homes near you? Would a coffee shop job in your town pay enough to cover the childcare costs?

Amy & Ben's secret "wedding" spirals out of control, with the secret spreading rapidly around school as more and more friends seek fake IDs to take part in the wedding or reception. Teen marriages do have a chance to succeed, but only if both families are supportive of the couple and will agree to mentor their relationship.

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has a discussion guide for episode 12 (pdf).

You might find it helpful to read the chapters "Should they marry?", "Teen marriage success", "The importance of a father", and "Childcare responsibilities" from our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy."

We blogged about each episode in season one: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.