- "69% percent of teens who had sex by age 14 reported some type of abuse in a relationship, with slightly more than one-third saying they had been physically abused."
- About "10% of the teenagers surveyed said they had had sex by age 14, while 20 percent said they had sex between the ages of 15 and 16."
- Nearly 50% of 11-14 year olds say they have been in a dating relationship. When did these very young people start dating? These dating relationships began at age 10 or younger for 9% of those surveyed, at age 11-12 for 28% of respondants, at age 13-14 for 35% of respondants, at age 15-16 for 25% of those surveyed, and after the age of 16 for 3% of those surveyed.
- "20% of 13- or 14-year-olds in relationships say they know friends and peers who have been "struck in anger" by a boyfriend or girlfriend. 62% have friends who have been called stupid, worthless or ugly by their dates."
- "About 51% say they are aware of the warning signs of hurtful dating relationship."
- "54% said they would know what to do if a friend came to them for help."
- "Data reveals that early sexual activity appears to fuel dating violence and abuse among teenagers."
- More than 25% of tweens (age 11-14) AND parents say that sexual activity is a part of tween dating relationships. However, parents do not believe their own tween has engaged in these behaviors. 70% of parents who say they haven't talked to their tween about relationships say it is because their child is too young. However, take a look at the sexual activities tweens are engaging in:
- 70% of tweens and 56% of parents say that kissing is a part of a tween (aged 11-14)dating relationship.
- 49% of tweens and 39% of parents say that "making out" is a part of a tween (aged 11-14) dating relationship.
- 37% of tweens and 31% of parents say that touching & "feeling up" is a part of a tween (aged 11-14) dating relationship.
- 27% of tweens and 26% of parents say that oral sex is a part of a tween (aged 11-14) dating relationship.
- 28% of tweens and 26% of parents say that sexual intercourse is a part of a tween (aged 11-14) dating relationship.
- Among 11-14 year olds who have been in a dating relationship,
- 62% say they know friends who have been verbally abused (called names, put down, or insulted, whether in person or over a cellphone, instant message, or social networking site) by a boyfriend/girlfriend. Among teens who had sex by age 14, 61% had been been abused verbally by their partner. Among teens who had sex at age 15 or 16, 47% had been abused verbally by their partner. Among teens who had sex after age 16, 36% had been abused verbally by their partner.
- 36% say they know friends who have been pressured by a boyfriend/girlfriend to do things they didn't want to do.
- 16% say they know friends who have been hurt (kicked, hit, slapped or punched) by an angry partner . Among all teens who had sex by age 14, 69% report experiencing one or more types of relationship abuse. 34% of these tweens say they were physically abused by an angry partner (hit, kicked, or choked). Among all teens who had sex at age 15 or 16, 20% report experiencing physical abuse by their angry partner. Among all teens who had sex after age 16, 9% report experiencing physical abuse by their angry partner.
- 15% say they know friends who have been pressured into having sex when they didn't want to. Among teens who had sex by age 14, 34% said they had been pressured into sex when they didn't want to. Among teens who had sex at age 15 or 16, 22% said they had been pressured into sex. Among teens who had sex after age 16, 15% said they had been pressured into sex when they didn't want to.
- 13% say they know friends who have been pressured into having oral sex when they didn't want to. Among teens who had sex by age 14, 36% said they had been pressured into having oral sex when they didn't want to. Among teens who had sex at age 15 or 16, 20% had been pressured into oral sex. Among teens who had sex after age 16, 15% had been pressured into having oral sex.
- Being controlled by their dating partner is also reported.
- 36% of teens report their partner wanted to know where they were all the time. 37% of teens report their partner wanted to know who they were with all the time. Among teens who had sex by age 14 (tweens), 58% report their partner wanted to know where they were, and 59% said their partner wanted to know who they were with all the time.
- Other controlling behaviors included being told what to do, being pressured to do things they didn't want to to, the partner tried to prevent them from spending time with family and other friends, and the partner asked them to spend time only with him/her.
- 23% of tweens know someone their own age who has had a partner threaten to spread rumors if they didn't do as they were told by the partner.
- 29% of tweens know a peer who had a partner call to check up on them more than 10 times per day.
- 24% of tweens know a peer who had a partner who texted to check up on them more than 20 times per day.
- 18% of tweens know a peer who had a partner who called/texted to check up on them between the hours of midnight and 5am.
- 9% of tweens know a peer who had a partner who shared private or embarassing pictures of them.
- 8% of tweens know a peer who had a parter who made them afraid to not respond to a call/email/text message.
There is a LOT to talk about here!
- What is your definition of dating? What is your daughter's definition of dating?
- When does your daughter say she began dating? When did you think she began dating?
- What does your daughter think is abuse in a relationship? What do you think abuse is?
- What does your duaghter think are signs of power and control in a relationship? What do you think?
- Does your daughter know someone in her age group who has been abused in a dating relationship?
- Has your daughter been abused in a dating relationship? Is she currently being abused?
- What sexual activity does your daughter think is appropriate in a dating relationship at her age? What are your thoughts?
- Does your daughter know someone in her age group who has been pressured to do something they didn't want to do by a dating partner?
- Has your daughter been pressured by a dating partner to do something she didn't want to do? Is she currently being pressured?
- Does your daughter know a peer who has been pressured into having oral sex or sex when they didn't want to?
- Has your daughter been pressured into having oral sex or sex when she didn't want to? Is she currently being pressured?
- Does your daughter know a peer who has been controlled by a partner?
- Has your daughter been controlled by a dating partner? Is she currently being controlled?
Brainstorm with your daughter about ways that she can spot an abusive relationship. What should she do, who should she talk to?
If your daughter has been abused, or is being abused, get her the medical attention and counseling she needs.
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