The other day we posted about the topic "How much should parents help their pregnant single daughter?"We've received this question is various forms. Another way this has been phrased is "How does a mom support her pregnant daughter?" Keywords we've seen on our statistics include phrases like "helping your pregnant daughter." That post focused on the minimum basics of safe housing, nutrition, and medical care. Today let's talk about some other help beyond the minimum basics.Beyond the minimum basics of housing, nutrition, and medical care, parents of a pregnant teen or college student should consider how they might help with these goals:
- Helping your daughter remain in school until graduation.
- Preventing subsequent adolescent pregnancies. (Today's topic)
- Improving parenting skills.
- Locating and using community resources.
- Stabilizing family support systems.
- Strengthening employability skills and efforts to become economically self-sufficient.
2. Preventing subsequence adolescent pregnancies. According to a report evaluating data from 2002, 20-25% of teen mothers give birth to a second child before they turn 20 years old. This report says,
"An additional birth to a teen mother shortly after her first birth appears to be associated with increased difficulties for the mother, for the outcome of the second pregnancy, and for her children. For the mother, an additional birth is associated with reduced ability to complete her education or to attain economic self-sufficiency. There may also be increased risk of preterm delivery, low birthweight, and infant mortality—although the evidence in these areas is mixed. If a teen mother gives birth again as a teenager or shortly thereafter, her children are more likely to have reduced educational achievement and possibly behavioral problems— problems that may be explained, in part, by the inadequate education of the mothers themselves or by the poverty and lifestyle of the family as a result of school failure and the inability to secure employment."If your teen daughter should become pregnant another time before she turns 20, it may seem like abortion is a solution. However, abortion carries physical and emotional risks too. If your daughter aborts her second child and then feels deep regret and seeks to get pregnant again with an "atonement child" her situation was not improved by the abortion. A healthier solution is for your daughter to pursue sexual integrity. Sexual integrity is more than abstaining from sex until marriage, it is developing healthy attitudes and actions in all areas of human sexuality. In our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy", read the chapter titled "Restoring Sexual Integrity". Sexual integrity, including abstinence until marriage, is the only 100% effective way for your daughter to avoid a repeat pregnancy and to avoid infection with a sexually transmitted disease. In addition, sexual integrity protects her emotions, unlike condoms and pills.
Dr. Doug Rosenau is a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist in Atlanta. He is the author of A Celebration of Sex
(Thomas Nelson). Dr. Rosenau has written overviews of "Eight Skills for Sexual Integrity", which are very worthwhile reading and discussing with all of your children. These articles are written for male readers, so discuss with your daughters how the same concept can be applied to them.Sexual Integrity Skill One: Plug into God's thinking and power
Sexual Integrity Skill Two: Meet nonsexual needs nonsexually
Sexual Integrity Skill Three: Discipline sexual fantasies and surges
Sexual Integrity Skill Four: Embrace masculinity and enjoy moms, sisters and daughters
Sexual Integrity Skill Five: Cultivate covenant monogamy and passionate intimacy
Sexual Integrity Skill Six: Make positive pre- and post-temptation choices
Sexual Integrity Skill Seven: Run to God's ER when broken
Sexual Integrity Skill Eight: Create practical theologies for doubtful issues
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