The first episode of ABC Family's "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" premiered last night. Reviewers who saw the show early and posted their comments yesterday before the show aired said both good things and bad things about the show. Did you watch it? What did you think? If you missed the show on TV, you can watch the two most-recent episodes online (click tab "Full Episode").Here's a few of the things we noted. Discussion ideas in italics.
- The show is rated TV14 DLS. In this episode we didn't see overt drug usage (was there alcohol in one flash scene?), and language wasn't obvious except for one instance of 'frickin', but the show is filled with talk about sex. Not surprising given the intent of the show.
- Not-so-subtle cutesy birds and bees during the show opening theme.
- Mom (Molly Ringwald) says to Amy "You're only young once - you should be having a little fun" instead of spending so much time on marching band. What activities do your teens think fall into the category of 'having a little fun'?
- Girl pal of character Ben rattles off statistics like "25% of 15 year old guys are having sex", "20% of 15 year old girls are having sex," "29% of 15-17 year old sexually active girls have boyfriends 3-5 years older," and "46.8% of high school students are having sex." Do your teens know which of their peers are sexually active? How do they know? What do your teens think about a 15 year old dating a man who is 18-20? How is this opinion affected by research indicating that adolescent females have a higher probability of contracting an STI when their sexual partner is substantially older?
- Amy (15) says her first sexual experience was "not that great", over quickly, "not romantic", "definitely wasn't fun," and "not like the movies". She says she didn't realize what was happening at first. We then learn that bad-boy Ricky is the father of her child.
- Grace (the ditzy Christian cheerleader) is talking to her boyfriend Jack (the hormone fueled football player) about her new promise ring and her plans to save sex for marriage and to not get married until after college and medical school. What are your teen's current plans for education, marriage and onset of sexual activity? What do they think of Grace's plans?
- Jack says, "Sexual purity, in or out of marriage, isn't a one-time vow, Grace. It's a daily recommitment to God and His plan for us." What do your teen's think God's plan is, related to marriage and sexual purity?
- Jack then goes on to ask if oral sex is okay before marriage if two people are committed to one another and in love with each other. Grace says oral sex is sex and that Jack needs to keep his mind away from those thoughts. What sexual activities do your teens think is allowed outside of marriage? How can they stay away from activities that cross this line?
- Ben (who will apparently be Amy's love interest in the show) talks to the guidance counselor about joining band class in order to impress Amy. At first he says he wants to join because he is in love with her, but later admits his motivation is sex. Ben says he is a virgin and he "has to start somewhere". What do your teens think about Ben's motives for joining band? What do your teens think about the advice from Ben's friends that Grace wasn't available sexually but that Amy would be a better target, in part because she might be desperate enough? Do your teens know any girls who have been targeted this way, by a boy who just wants a starting sexual encounter so he can move up the ladder to other sexual partners?
- After three positive pregnancy tests, Amy says "I can't believe I'm old enough to use the word 'pregnant' in a sentence, much less BE pregnant." What emotions do your teens think they might experience if they were to learn that they were pregnant right now? Or that they were the father of a baby?
- At the dinner table, Amy's 13 year old sister (in trouble for breaking the school dress code) says, "Why should I follow the rules when no one else does?" Dad jumps in and says that the 13 year old daughter dresses "like a street walker." He continues, "We take our hard earned money to buy you decent clothes that meet the dress code requirement." He also says that family has a dress code too & she didn't break only school rules but their rules too. Does your teen's school have a dress code or a uniform? Does your family have a dress code? What clothing that your teens currently own would you prefer them to not wear? Ask your teens what messages they think their clothing sends to the opposite sex.
- Dad asks what she's trying to prove - that she isn't 13? That she's sexy? He says, "You're not sexy. Do you even know what sexy means? It means you're ready to have sex and you are not ready to have sex. Neither of my daughters are ready to have sex and you two will not be ready to have sex for a long time." Do your teens agree with the idea that dressing sexy sends a message that you are ready to have sex? How old do your teens think someone should be before they dress sexy?
- Dad then says, "Maybe after you've been married a couple of years - make sure its going to work out first." What does this statement show us about his views on marriage?
- One scene has Ricky talking to a "shrink" that he has apparently been seeing for years. The counselor asks Ricky "Why do these sexual conquests make you feel like a man?" He goes on, "Having sex with as many women as you can is not going to make you feel any better. And I think it's making you feel worse." He later asks Ricky if he can see the relationship between loving himself and not having sex with every woman he meets. He points out that Ricky is constantly fighting to prove his masculinity. Do your teens know anyone who acts like sexual conquests make him more manly?
- Amy's friends come up with the plan that Amy should get Ben to fall in love with her, have sex with her so she can say she's pregnant by Ben and marry him. What are the unrealistic points of this plan?
The show is very much a teen soap opera, with some high points and some low points, and lots of room for discussion along the way. Parents, your teens do want to talk with you about important issues like sex. Here are some tips to help get the conversation started.
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy also has a discussion guide for this episode (PDF file).
We blogged about each episode in season one: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.
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