Thanks for stopping by our blog! You can read about previous episodes of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" by clicking the label "Media" here or at the end of this post. You can watch the two most-recent episodes online here (click the tab called "Full Episode"). Here are a few points from the show, with some items to discuss with your teens.Episode 5 starts with Ben & Amy having a picnic and supposedly studying. While Amy is eating, Ben says, "I love you, Amy Jurgens." She replies, "Thanks, me too." Talk with you teens about love. Do your kids think that 15 years olds can experience real love? Or is it just hormones and infatuation? How can you tell the difference between love and infatuation? How long do your kids think it might take to realize love vs infatuation in a relationship? Ben & Amy have only been dating a few weeks...could Ben really be experiencing real love for Amy at this point? Remember, Ben started dating Amy because he wanted to have sex and he "had to start somewhere." Amy was picked out for Ben by his friend, saying that she was probably the only one desperate enough to be willing to date him.
There is a sequence of happy family images: a young couple is pushing their small baby in a stroller, an older couple is walking hand in hand, talking and smiling. Ben gets down on one knees, opens a ring box, and asks Amy if she will marry him. The silly plan that Amy's friends had dreamed up (getting Ben to marry her, pretending its his baby) appears to be happening. Talk to your kids about this scene. What do they think was realistic about it, and what was fantasy about it? What do they think of Ben's actions? What about his motives? Several generations ago it was common to marry in the teen years. Do your kids think there are any circumstances in which 15 year olds should get married these days?
Amy starts to cry. The small baby starts to cry, the older couple appears to fight. As Amy tries to ask Ben whether he knows she's pregnant, he keeps repeating that he loves her. Amy asks who told Ben she was pregnant, and he says his dad suspected. Amy says, "You're such a nice person. I'm such a whore." Talk to your kids about this. Amy obviously feels self-condemnation and regret. Do your kids think that Amy's sexual activity with Ricky was whorish?
Amy asks Ben, "What am I going to do?" He says, "Well, marry me of course." Amy replies, "I can't get married, my parents will never let me -- I'm only 15. I'm not even sure they're going to let me do this [indicating her pregnancy]. Maybe they'll want me to get an abortion or something." Ben replies, "No. No, Amy, you don't have to do that. I'm here for you." He continues that they can tell everyone that he is the father of the baby.
Amy says, "I am so stupid. And I lied to you. I had sex with Ricky. It was awful sex, though, I mean it only lasted like two seconds and I wasn't sure it even was sex until this happened."
Ricky is at Grace's house, talking to her brother. Grace's brother says "Guys play football for the same reason you play the drums: to get girls." What do your kids think about this? Why do they think that football players and drummers appear to have girls throwing themselves at them all the time?
In the kitchen, Grace is talking with her parents. Grace's mom says "We didn't say you could date [Ricky], in fact at this point we're not sure we'll ever let you date again." What do your kids think about this? Is not dating for a time a reasonable consequence for Grace having lied and snuck around to see Jack?
Amy & Ashley's dad is walking out the door when Ashley stops him to confront him. She asks if he is cheating on her mother and he denies it and says its time for her to grow up and realize that things don't alway work out like you want them to. Ashley tries to bargain with him, "Please don't go, okay? I promise I'll do anything you want. I mean, I'll wear long skirts or high jeans. I won't wear makeup, and I won't dye my hair and I'll get good grades and I'll make decent friends like you're always telling me to. Just, Dad, please." Ashley's dad says they're not getting divorced, just taking a break, just taking time alone to think.
Jack & Adrian are talking at her apartment, and Jack reveals that his step-dad is Reverend Stone. Adrian comments that the sermon had been about personal responsibility, and Jack replies that the sermon was about making Grace look good so that Grace's dad will continue to give money to the church. We later learn that Jack only dated Grace because Jack's dad wanted to make sure Grace's family was happy at the church. We learn that Amy & Ashley's dad has been having an affair with Adrian's mom.
Amy comes home and is talking to Ashley about their dad leaving. Amy says she doesn't think she can have the baby. Ashley agrees its probably a good idea not to have the baby. In the next scene, Ben & Amy are talking at her locker. Ben says, "Don't do it." Amy says, "I have to. I don't have any choice." Talk to your kids. What options does Amy have? Why does she feel like she doesn't have a choice?
Ben replies, "You do have a choice. I'm giving you a choice." Ben repeats that he wants to marry Amy. Amy says her parents will never let her get married, then, "They'll probably send me off to some home where the baby gets adopted and just tell all our friends that I had a disease and I went away for treatment." Ben says, "I'll tell them with you. And I'll tell them I want to marry you, and I'll even ask my dad to come if you think that will help. And no one is going to send you off to any other home other than mine. And no one can make you give up your baby if you don't want to." Amy asks, "Why are you so nice to me?" Ben says, "Because I love you." Amy replies, "Then please, help me get rid of this baby." Ben says, "No, no abortions." Amy says, "I'd rather do that than tell my parents. I never thought I could, but I think I have to. I know I'm being a coward, but I can't tell them, Ben." Why do your kids think Amy feels this way? If they were pregnant, would they rather have an abortion than tell you they were pregnant? What do you wish your kids would do if they were pregnant at 15 and you didn't know?
Ben says, "You have to make the decision, but I don't think this is a decision you want to make. You don't have to [abort]." Amy says, "Maybe it's what I want to do. Maybe it's the easiest thing." Ben says, "Maybe, but maybe not."
After Grace hears that Jack and Adrian did more than kiss, Grace bumps into Ricky. Ricky says, "Everyone has their own versions of the truth, and no one tells the truth all the time." Grace responds, "Still, there's only one truth no matter what story you tell. There's truth and then there's lies." What do your kids think about this. Is truth absolute or relative? Does each person have their own truth?
Amy is talking to her friends about whether people are talking about her being pregnant. One friend (Madison) suggests that Amy go home. Amy says, "If I left right now, in the middle of the day, I don't think I could ever come back. But if I stay, and nothing ever happens, then maybe people would think it was just a rumor and wasn't true." Amy asks her friends to help her get an abortion. Madison is Catholic, and is upset that Amy is talking about getting an abortion. Amy's other friend says, "It's her choice, and its a valid choice considering her age and the father." Amy's friend both encourage Amy to tell her mom that she's pregnant. Amy says she can't tell her mother because her dad left the family last night. Talk to your kids: If one of your kids was pregnant, what advice do they think their friends would give them? Would you want your daughter's friends to help her get an abortion without your knowledge?
Amy tells Dr. Hightower that she "already took care of it" and not to call any more. Dr. Hightower looks stunned. The school guidance counselor tries to get Amy to talk about being pregnant, but she denies that anything is wrong with her or at home. The guidance counselor then asks Ben if he is the father of Amy's baby. Assuming that Ben is the father, the counselor says, "It's not your decision to make. You might want to have some say in the decision. You might want to express your opinion. But it's not your decision to make. Encourage Amy to talk to her parents right away. And you go along with whatever it is she wants to do, or commit to taking responsibility for the next 18 years and beyond." What do your kids think about this? How much input should the father of the baby have in the fate of the baby? If one of your kids was pregnant, what would they want the baby's father to say and do?
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy also offers a discussion guide for episode 5 (PDF).
We blogged about each episode in season one: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.
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