A recent article about higher teen pregnancy rates in south-central Idaho asked several teens and others why they thought teens were having babies.
18-year-old mother Kiyana said, “We talked about having a baby, but we didn’t actually plan it. Some kids plan to have their babies now, big time. … I just get this vibe that they want to wanted and want to have a kid.”
Talk to your pregnant daughter about this quote. Did your pregnant daughter talk about having a baby with her partner? If so, what did they talk about? What were the reasons pro and con that they discussed? What did they think the benefits and downsides of having a baby together would be?
Did your pregnant daughter actually plan this pregnancy? If she did, what were her reasons? What benefits did she believe would be associated with having her baby at this point in her life?
Ask your kids, “What do you think someone means when they say they want to be wanted?” Does ‘being wanted’ mean love? Does it just mean sex appeal? Do they mean that they think the baby will need, want and love them?
A high school principal is also quoted in the article, explaining his opinion on why there are so many teen parents: “The social stigma [of having a baby as a teen] has gone by the wayside. … It’s a pretty cool thing to bring your child to school” as if the baby were a cute object to take to show-and-tell.
Talk to your kids about this quote. What are their thoughts about the social stigma of being a teen mom? Do they know people who agree that babies are a great item for show-and-tell?
Josh, an 18-year-old father of a 2yr old is also quoted in the article. His opinion about why there are so many teen parents is that “everybody just goes to parties. They get drunk and messed up and can’t control themselves.” Talk to your kids about this opinion. Do they agree that drinking and sex are frequently connected at the parties they go to? Are teens as young as 16 drinking alcohol at the parties they go to? Was alcohol involved in the situation that produced your daughter’s pregnancy?
Josh says that the schools teach abstinence in addition to sex education but that the messages don’t always get through to the teens: “It’s just how teenagers are. They don’t know what to expect and they don’t really care what happens. They just go for it. And we basically go in blind.” Talk to your kids about this opinion. Do the teens they know care whether or not they create a baby? Are they obsessed with sex so much that they don’t control themselves but just go for it regardless of consequences?
Finally, a sex education teacher, Janet, is quoted. Her opinion on why there are so many teen parents is that “Parents don’t do an adequate job. They think their kids are too young to know about sexual things.” What are your thoughts on this opinion? Do you feel you’ve talked to your kids about sex and relationships? Ask your pregnant daughter if she thinks you should have talked to her differently about sex. Consider her advice; do you need to have different conversations with her younger siblings?
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