78% of teens have a social media account (mostly on Facebook), so you need to connect with your teen there by getting your own account. The National Fatherhood Initiative has these suggestions.
1) Find out what your teens think about Facebook. What do they know about it? How do their friends use it? What do they think about it? Talk about things you see happen on Facebook. It might be anything from “hey, I noticed on Facebook that your friends on the soccer team won districts – that’s great!” to “It looks like your friend Amy broke up with her boyfriend. How’s she doing with that?” If you see behavior or posts by your teen or his/her friends that concerns you, you need to talk about that too and revisit what is and is not appropriate or safe.
2) Ask your teens their opinion on how much personal information you should post publicly on your own Facebook account. This will help you talk to them about the kinds of things they should and should not post. Help your teens understand how they are portraying themselves online. What do her pictures say about her? What do his posts communicate about how he thinks? Talk about the kind of reputation they want to have and how their online behavior shapes that. Remind your teen that potential employers or college admissions officers look at Facebook profiles too.
3) Create a Family Internet Agreement. How old do your kids need to be to join Facebook? How much time are they allowed to spend online? What are the rules for using the internet (i.e., no Facebook until homework is done)? Talk to your kids about the value of face-to-face time in building genuine relationships and how online communication can limit relationships.
4) Be Friends: Friend your kids. Friend their friends. Don’t be shy! Yeah, it might feel like you’re “stalking” your kids, but it’s your job as a parent to be aware of what is going on in your children’s lives. So much of teenagers’ relationships take place online now, so it’s good idea to be in that space with them. Talk to your teens about this – let them know that you’re not trying to spy on them, but that you want to be aware of what’s going on in their life because you care about them.
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