Single Moms Often Poor

Children in father-absent homes are five times more likely to be poor.

In 2002, 7.8% of children in married-couple families were living in poverty, compared to 38.4% of children in female-householder families.

Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Children’s Living Arrangements and Characteristics: March 2002, P200-547, Table C8. Washington D.C.: GPO, 2003.

Talk with your daughter about the issues revealed in the statistics above.

• What are her dreams about a present and involved father for her child?
  
• What qualities of a good father can the baby's father provide currently?
  
• If the baby's father is not a good candidate for an ongoing relationship, what male(s) can step in to provide a healthy father figure?

Our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy: Practical Advice for the Parents of a Pregnant Christian Single" has several chapters about the father of your daughter's baby: "Where Does The Baby's Father Belong In All This?", "Forgiving The Baby's Father", "Forgiving The Young Man's Parents", and "The Importance Of A Father."

As you and your daughter talk about an involved father for her child, try to determine who will play this role. It may be the child's father. If he is a safe person and has the potential to provide for his family and to learn parenting skills, your daughter should seek counseling about whether to marry him. I strongly recommend that any couple get good pre-marriage counseling that teaches them about managing expectations, communication skills, and gives the basics of financial skills such as budgeting and balancing a checkbook. In addition, the couple will need to be attending parenting skills classes so that they both participate in caring for the needs of their child. You may find it helpful to read the chapters "Should They Marry?" and "Should She Parent Alone?"

If the child's father will not be involved for whatever reason, who in your current family could play this crucial role of father figure?

If no father-figure is available or acceptable, spend some time considering an adoption plan where the child would have the advantages of a father as the child grows.

If your daughter is determined to be a single mother, what job skills does your she currently have? How can you help your pregnant daughter improve her job skills? What kind of career could she train for quickly? What financial help for living expenses or career training expenses are available in your family? Where can she get quality childcare while she is at work? You may also want to read the "Childcare Responsibilities" chapter in our book .