Here are summaries from an actual blog belonging to a teen who is actively trying to get pregnant. You can see a bit of her thought processes and her motives, which are examples of answers to "why do some teens get pregnant." Obviously, not every pregnant teen feels like this, but some do. Entries have been summarized, but the underlying thoughts have not been altered. These entries are written over an 8 week period.
Day 1– She calls her boyfriend the "love of my life" and announces she is trying to conceive a baby with him.
Day 2 – She tells of a conversation with her boyfriend where he questions whether now is a good time to get pregnant since they are both still in school. She says, "But my best friend is pregnant and I feel so lonely." Some peer pressure here...she wants to fit in. She notes that she will try to talk him into agreeing to the pregnancy, that she doesn't want to wait until she's done with school.
Day 4- She notes that she should start saving money to care for the baby, commenting that her mother was poor when she was born and thus she ended up being raised by her grandmother. She promises herself that her baby will not be raised by its grandmother, her mother, and complains about the parenting she has received.
Day 6 – She reaffirms that she is intentionally trying to get pregnant. "I’m hoping by this time next year I'll have my own little bundle of joy." Either this is just a phrase, or she is hoping the baby will provide her with emotional fulfillment such as joy and unconditional love.
Day 8 – She tells the story of a previous miscarriage she had, and again hopes that she is pregnant. She has not finished grieving the lost child, and may be trying to replace the baby that was miscarried. When a woman has an abortion and then intentionally gets pregnant again, the new baby is called an 'Atonement child'. When trying to get pregnant again rapidly following a miscarriage, the baby is a 'Replacement child'.
Day 9 - She is very upset that she had a big fight with her boyfriend and they broke up. She says, "God, I hope I’m pregnant – it’s the only way to talk him back into loving me." Many women of all ages believe that they can restore a broken relationship by turning up pregnant with his child.
Day 14 – She is very upset because her old boyfriend has started dating someone else. She says, "I’ve never cried this much over a stupid boy. This must mean something. I’m praying a lot lately, asking God to forgive me and bless me and my ex-boyfriend - bless us with a child or make his parents love me or something. I’m praying for this life to stop being a wreck and for my heart to finally be whole." Many women of all ages believe that a child will fulfill all of the mother's emotional needs, which is a heavy burden to expect out of any human, and even more so for an infant.
Day 24 - She is analyzing every physical symptom she has, hoping that they indicate pregnancy. She ends the post with, "If I don’t get my period, then God loves me and wants my ex-boyfriend to be mine. If I do, then maybe it’s not meant to be or at least not right now." Again, she is hoping to hold on to the relationship by having a baby with him.
Day 28 - As it becomes clear that she is not pregnant, she is upset: "I’m about to cry - this was my last shot to get my ex-boyfriend back."
Day 54 - The next month, she has moved on and met a new boyfriend who is her age, and she wastes little time in building a relationship with him but instead says, "I’m considering trying to conceive with him."
Talk with your daughter about these thoughts. Is she feeling peer pressure to be sexually active? Are there aspects of home life she is trying to escape from by being sexually active? Is she believing that having a baby will get her out of the house? What is she hoping/expecting a baby to provide her emotionally? Is she trying to replace a child lost to abortion or miscarriage? Is she trying to hold on to a guy by getting pregnant?
No comments:
Post a Comment