Stress busters

It is obvious that any family that has a pregnant teenager or pregnant college student will feel stress. The National Fatherhood Initiative offers their top ten tips for dealing with stress:

1) Exercise. Do some double duty and do exercise together as a family - take a walk, ride bikes, throw a ball or a frisbee, etc.

2) Eat right. Your pregnant daughter needs healthy food for herself and her baby, but the rest of you need healthy food too. Stop buying the junk food. If it isn't in the house, you won't eat it!

3) Get some sleep. Adults need a minimum of 6 hours of sleep every day. Eight is better. Go to bed at the same time every night in order to train your body.

4) List priorities. "Think about all the “shoulds,” “woulds", “coulds,” and “musts” in your life. Figure out which are worth keeping and which to get rid of and focus on what you feel is most important – don’t try to do it all."

5) Laugh. Having a pregnant daughter who isn't married isn't a laughing matter. So you'll have to be deliberate to find something to laugh at. Maybe the comics in the newspaper? Maybe a comedy show?

6) Vent your feelings. But find a safe time and place to do so. No need to hurt others simply by venting. Write in a journal. Talk to a counselor or religious leader. Get coffee and talk. Take a walk and talk. Share your feelings. Then talk about the problems and invent solutions.

7) Leave work at work. We often train ourselves to keep our home problems internal while we are at work. Try the same with work problems... leave them at work so they don't interfere with your family life.

8) Spend time with friends. This doesn't have to be hours and hours... just a quick coffee together. Or a walk. But don't isolate yourself from your support network. You may feel embarassed that your daughter is pregnant and not married. You may worry about what your friends will say (and it's true that they likely will say *something*), but you need friendships. Figure out which of your friends are trustworthy, and which are just gossips.

9) Volunteer/give. Volunteering to help others will help you get the focus off your stresses for a little while. You don't have to spend hours and hours on this. Often something simple but meaningful can be more therapeutic than a huge endeavor. Maybe you can get double benefit out of volunteering in some way. For example, maybe you and your pregnant daughter can babysit a young child for a few hours. This way your daughter can have a small glimpse at the skills she needs if she's going to parent; and it gives you and your daughter the chance to talk about approaches to parenting.

10) Pursue your hobby. An activity that can help you escape and have a bit of fun will help you relax and re-energize. So set aside a small time to do something you love: read a chapter in a fun book; pull weeds from the garden; take a class at the recreation center; etc.

Pick just one of these ideas to get started. Don't add stress by overloading yourself, even with things that are supposed to be stress relieving.