Getting rid of guilt

The National Fatherhood Initiative has a great little article called "5 Ways to Get Rid of Guilt".

As the parent of a pregnant daughter who is not married, it's a safe bet that you sometimes feel guilt. You may feel guilty because you think you weren't hard enough on your daughter, or maybe you've been too hard on her since you found out she is pregnant. Or maybe you feel guilty because you think you have failed as a parent.

You are not alone in your struggle with guilty feelings. God uses guilty feelings to point out to us that we have made bad choices. But once you confess your sin, ask for forgiveness, and determine to not make that mistake again, any remaining guilty feelings need to be scrubbed out.

When dealing with guilt about your pregnant daughter, first ask God to forgive you for your failings. Then consider these points from the NFI:

1) Admit to your kids that you are not perfect. (They know it anyway.) But say it out loud to them and say you are sorry. Ask your kids to forgive you.

2) Don't compare yourself to other parents that you think are doing better than you. Focus instead on following God right now, and being the kind of parent your children need you to be. Be realistic... you can't accomplish everything, you can't be perfect. Be involved with your kids, be responsible, and be committed to them. Let the other things go.

3) Look forward. If you've confessed your mistakes and asked for forgiveness, then stop beating yourself up, stop dwelling on the mistake. Don't focus on the past. Instead, focus on who you want to become and how you would like your family to be in the future.