Some benefits of adoption

I believe that every unmarried pregnant woman should research adoption in addition to her research on parenting. That way, no matter what she chooses, she can remind herself when things are tough that she carefully looked at all her options. She won't be able to say "I wish someone had told me about _______."

An article from a few years ago, titled "Benefits of Adoption" summarized a few results of a research study by the Search Institute on 700 families, 12-18 years after they adopted a child. Here are some of the results:

• Adopted adolescents’ self-esteem was as high or higher than their peers.
• Adopted adolescents are as deeply attached to their adoptive parents as their siblings who were not adopted.
• 95% of the parents said they had a very strong attachment to their adopted child.
• How many parents were divorced or separated? Only 11%. This compared to 28% of a cross-section nationally.
• 75% of adopted adolescents are psychologically healthy.
• Adopted adolescents report having as much support from family and friends as their non-adopted siblings have.

A different research study compared adopted children to children born out of wedlock and raised by a single mother; children raised by grandparents without their biologic parents; and children who live with both of their biologic parents.

• Adopted children had superior home environments, more so than any of the other groups.
• Adopted children were in better health than children living with unmarried mothers and those living with grandparents.
• Access to medical care for adopted children was similar to children in intact families, and better than the others.
• The numbers of adopted children repeating a grade, being suspended, or being expelled from school were the same as children in intact families, and their records were much better than children living with unmarried mothers or living with grandparents.

These studies indicate that adoption can be very beneficial for the child, perhaps even more beneficial than being raised by a single mom or being raised by the child's grandparents.

Does adoption benefit the birthmother, your pregnant daughter?

There’s a study from Planned Parenthood’s Family Planning Perspectives of 270 unwed mothers. It reported that those young mothers who chose adoption had considerably more favorable social, economic and educational outcomes than did those who chose to parent as single parents.

Comparing the two groups, the study showed that those who chose adoption were:

• More likely to finish vocational training and more likely to have educational aspirations.
• More likely to delay marriage and considerably less likely to have another out-of-wedlock pregnancy.
• More likely to be employed six to twelve months after giving birth and, across the board, almost all had higher household incomes.

Another study at Columbia University of over 400 pregnant teenagers checked them at six months and again at four years after giving birth. Again, those who chose adoption fared much better than single mothers. In this study, mothers who chose adoption were:

• More likely to complete high school;
• more likely to attend college;
• more likely to have higher educational aspirations;
• more likelyto be employed six months and four years after giving birth;
• and more likely to be married.
• They were less likely to be on welfare.
• There were fewer of them who were cohabiting and fewer who had another out-of-wedlock pregnancy.
• Those who chose adoption were more likely to have greater overall satisfaction with their lives, including satisfaction with theirwork, finances and relationship with their partners.
• Finally, mothers who chose adoption were more likely to be optimistic about their own future. And, among this group, there were fewer women sufferingfrom depression.
  

In summary, unwed mothers who carried their babies to term and placed them in loving arms for adoption scored higher, with greater satisfaction and with greater social stability on almost every level, that is, in comparison to the young mothers who kept their babies and proceeded to raise them as single mothers.

Neither adoption nor single parenting are easy! Neither choice always turns out perfectly either. You will rapidly find that everyone has a strong opinion about what road your pregnant daughter should choose. But each option should be researched fully, because each pregnant woman's situation is different. Several times in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy", we ask the parents of the pregnant woman and the woman herself to make comparison lists of the pros and cons of all her options: abortion, adoption, single parenting, and married parenting. As part of your research on these options, you may find it helpful to read the chapters titled "Should they marry?", "Should she parent alone?", "Should we adopt the baby?", and "Should she make an adoption plan?".