"Let Go" by Sheila Walsh

The focus of "Let Go" is on the various things that we need deliverance from.

Each chapter starts with Scripture and also relevant quotes, followed by a (often corny) story that is supposed to illustrate the point. Then the meat of the chapter begins. The chapters end with a summary, some discussion questions, and a prayer.

Chapters and topics include: "Fresh-baked grace for the spiritually hungry" (on legalism), "This dead religion is past its sell-by date" (on judging), "Living in the past", "Look at the view ahead!", "The trap of unforgiveness", "Don't play fair - it will set you free" (about how life isn't fair), "The trouble with temptation is that it's just so tempting", "Let go and live in Christ's victory", "Shame on you!", "Shame on Him", "You are you for a reason", "I was made for this" (about purpose), "Sometimes my life feels like a cliffhanger" (about fear and trust), "God will prove it's a love story" (you are loved and you are never alone), "We are what we believe we are?" (about self-hatred), "Table for two, please", "No light at the end of my tunnel" (about depression), "The million-watt megabulb of God's hope", and "A long-awaited deliverance."

Some quotes that were meaningful to me, with a comment or two on how they might relate to you today as you deal with your single daughter's pregnancy:

Why is forgiveness hard?
"Fear: 'What if I forgive and they do it again?'
Mistrust: 'I've heard it all before, and I don't believe they're really sorry.'
Pain: 'How can saying 'I forgive you' take away the deep wound inside?'
Bitterness: 'Nothing can change what happened to me.'"

Do you relate to these thoughts in regards to forgiving your single-and-pregnant daughter? Or the baby's father?

"Forgiveness means we surrender our right to know the outcome. That is hard. We want to know that if we forgive, then the person will be sorry and never hurt us again. When we forgive someone and he turns right around and does the same thing again, not only are we wounded afresh, but we feel so foolish."

"Another reason we struggle with forgiveness is because we have cheapened what forgiveness really is. There is an element of sentimentality among many in the evangelical church who would suggest forgiveness is easy and quick. People apply forgiveness like a Band-Aid over a wound, without recognizing the wound has to be addressed, acknowledged, grieved over, and owned before forgiveness can ever be real and lasting."

"We can only really forgive when we acknowledge the depth to which we have been wounded and allow ourselves to 'own' the pain. By 'own' the pain, I mean face the truth that we are wounded. It is tempting to slough pain away, denying we are hurt. It can be embarrassing to be wounded. We feel weak or out of control. So we ignore it."

What wounds are you feeling right now in relation to your single-and-pregnant daughter? Write them down, and try to be as specific as possible, expressing the depth to which you have been wounded. Read your list to God in prayer, ask Him to help you grieve over them. Part of the grieving process is acceptance and resolution... ask God to lead you toward those parts of the grief cycle.

"One of the greatest issues I see is self-hatred ... Many prefer to call it low self-esteem. But, really, what those feelings are is a rejection of who we are; we believe that at least part of us is unacceptable. What else can it be called but self-hatred? The fallout of self-hatred is isolation."

Do you feel self-hatred because you are feeling that you've failed as a parent?

"When we allow our brokenness to make our choices, we withhold who we are and what we have to give to one another. One of Satan's tricks is to keep us so obsessed with what we USED to believe or what USED to be true that we don't live in God's grace RIGHT NOW. ... It keeps us wallowing in the past, alone and defeated."

Are you allowing your brokenness to make choices in your daughter's pregnancy?

Sheila talks about Luke 19:10 "For the Son of Man came to find and restore the lost" and how 'lost' means 'broken beyond repair'. She says, "There have been moments in my life when I've thought, 'I'm not going to make it, Lord; I'm too broken, too despairing, too far gone.' I love this verse because it says to you and to me that if we feel that way we can take heart, because that's why Jesus came!"

Are you feeling broken? Despair? Take heart! Jesus came to find YOU and restore YOU.

"I was not put onto this earth to make myself happy. I was put here to learn to love and trust God and to let his love flow through me until we make it safely home."

As you and your pregnant daughter examine her options, make an effort to love your daughter, to love her child, and to trust God with this child she is carrying.