Review: Guys are Waffles, Girls are Spaghetti

"Guys are Waffles, Girls are Spahetti" by Chad Eastham with Bill & Pam Farrel

This book is written in a very casual conversation style, aimed at young to mid teens. Boys might enjoy it more than girls because of the examples Chad gives from his own life about how he was an awkward teen. The text may seem rambling to adults, but perhaps this style will appeal to teens because it won't feel like a lecture.

The goal of the book is to discuss gender differences and realtionships. Chad gives a short explanation of brain anatomy and the main analogy that guy are waffles (they compartmentalize) while girls are spaghetti (everything can be interconnected). He also discusses sexting, learning listening skills, and dating.

Chad talks about the various reasons that some people date:

• The rebel dater who simply wants to show independence and gain freedom.
• "Dating for a daddy"...girls that are looking for love to replace the love they are not getting from their fathers. This may be especially true in single parent families.
• Serial dating... constantly jumping from relationship to relationship because the person feels they can't be alone.
• "Missionary dating" ..."This term describes people who date others with very different religious and social viewpoints from their own with the hope of 'converting' them."

Near the end of the book, Chad talks about sex. He reminds readers that guys and girls have sex for different reasons: guys give love in order to get sex, girls give sex in order to get love. Discuss this with your kids.

Talk to your kids about these neat factoids mentioned in the book:

• 96% of high school relationships will not last. Chad discusses the idea that dating in high school should strive not to involve deep committment and romantic emotions (and also be very limited physically) in order to protect yourself from heartbreak (due to the fact that so few of these relationships last). Talk about Chad's question with your kids: "If I were to tell you that you will date someone but that you probably won't marry that person, then what would you do differently in that relationship?" Most girls say they would be less likely to be sexual with their boyfriend.
• "The younger you start dating and the more often you date people, the higher your odds are of experiencing unhealthy relationship habits, negative feelings, depression, a poor self-image, sexual abuse, rape, less relationship satisfaction, and a higher risk of suicide."
• "The average age difference for married couples in the United States is just over two years. The average difference in age between teen girls who get pregnant and the guys who get them pregnant is 6.2 years."

The back of the book has a study guide that has questions that would be great conversation starters.