Friday, January 29, 2010

Building character early in life

"Reading your male: an invitation to understand and influence your man's sexuality", by Mary Farrar, is a meaty book that has some interesting topics that would make for good conversations (maybe even debates) with your pregnant daughter.

On page 32, Farrar repeats an anonymous quotation that "the formative period for building character for eternity is in the nursery. The mother is queen of that realm and sways a sceptor more potent than that of kings or priests."

She goes on to say, "Mothers also have a remarkable unseen power over marriages-to-come (that is, who their sons will choose to marry and not marry, and how they will relate to their future wives). ... Mothers contribute uniquely to the process of preparing their sons to become great dads."

Basically, the first years of a child's life are very important for building their character.

Discuss with your pregnant daughter:
What character traits does she wish her child to have?
What is her plan for teaching that character to her child?
Will she be the primary caretaker of her child during these important early years, or will the child be taught by someone else such as a paid daycare worker or another family member?
If she won't be the primary caretaker, what is her plan for how she will teach character during the time she has available?
If your daughter is making an adoption plan, what character traits would she like the parents of her child to have so that they are more likely to raise her child with the character she desires?

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