Why Do Teens Get Pregnant?

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinal ran an editorial recently (3/5/2008) as part of their political coverage, titled "A Teen Mom's Advice: Its OK if you wait", where they tell the story of Tiera Smith. Tiera recently turned 18 and has a 6-month old son, Kamran. According to the article, Milwaukee ranks 7th in the nation in terms of births to teens.

Tiera talks about the realities of motherhood at any age: sleep deprivation, change in lifestyle (how often you go out and where), and financial concerns. These ring true across all age groups and marriage situations and are not unique to teen pregnancy. The reporter asked Tiera why she thinks teens get pregnant.

She validated some of the comments given earlier by a group of girls in the program about why girls, generally, get pregnant too early. It's too much the norm in some quarters, she said. "Sex is the popularity; it's the hobby," Smith said. "They've made it kind of a style. They don't think about the consequences." Smith, born to a teen mom, puts herself in that last category of not thinking about the consequences. She knows about contraception and said she knows how to get it. But she had unprotected sex. "I knew if I had unprotected sex, I knew I was going to get pregnant." She did, and she did. "I wouldn't have gotten pregnant if I wasn't so immature about it." It was a matter of "lust that we thought was love."

I think there are a couple of mature insights here. First, many people of any age group (not just teens) think of sex as recreation and do not connect sex with pregnancy or any other consequence like STDs. Sex is indeed seen as a hobby today. A pastime, just like watching TV or playing video games. There are lots of reasons that teens and college students get pregnant, and some are listed in Chapter 2 "The Importance of First Words" of our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy: Practical Advice for the Parents of a Pregnant Christian Single". Brainstorm with your daughter all the factors (physical, emotional, and spiritual) that contributed to her sexual activity and pregnancy outside marriage. What changes can your daughter make in her future dating plans so that sex is saved for marriage? Leave us a comment with any tips you'd like to share with other parents.

Second, Tiera wisely understands in retrospect what many people have trouble with: lust is not love. Talk with your daughter about lust vs love. Ann Landers once wrote an interesting article about love vs infatuation. A modified verson of that article is found here. If your daughter is repentant of her sexual activity outside marriage, talk with her about restoring sexual integrity (see chapter 8 of "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy"). Many non-marriage relationships do not stay together after the birth of a child...if that is the case with your daughter, is she in need of counseling to help deal with the abandonment, betrayal and rejection she may be feeling?
In the article, Tiera says she is trying to finish high school via a program that lets her attend at later hours and only four days a week, to accomodate child care arrangements. What can your school do to help your student finish their program? Share the experiences you've had with your daughter's college or school by leaving a comment.

Read other posts about "why teens get pregnant" by clicking on the "Why" tag below.