You probably feel pretty isolated when trying to cope with the news of your single daughter's pregnancy. The statistics show that you are not alone, but it is also the case that you and your family need special support during this challenge! You should not try to deal with this situation entirely on your own even though you may fear "airing the family's dirty laundry". It may be embarassing to admit you need help, but pregnancy outside of marriage is a crisis: there are changes to life no matter what course is chosen, and those changes will require new coping strategies.
Sit down and think about who your support circle is. List family, fellow church members, and friends who are trustworthy and wise. God created family to support each other. Likewise, God urges us to be active in a local church for spiritual, emotional and physical support. The body of Christ is called to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. And yet we are still fallen humans, so choose your initial support group with prayer and thought. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom about who to talk to and where to find help.
Find a local ministry that understands the issues and decisions involved in pregnancy. Call OptionLine (800-395-HELP, open 24/7) to see if there is a pregnancy resource center near you, or to talk to a phone counselor. OptionLine can also be reached via email and instant messenger, and can talk to both you and your daughter. You may also be able to find counseling help for your other children as they deal with your daughter's pregnancy.
Take the time to educate yourself and your family about the issues and decisions involved in your daughter's pregnancy. Obviously we recommend our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy: Practical Advice for the Parents of a Christian Pregnant Single", and there are other books and resources out there too. It is important to understand that there is rarely a single cause that led your daughter into sexual activity outside marriage, which led to her pregnancy. So don't place all the 'blame' on any particular person or thing. Talk to your daughter to brainstorm all the actions and decisions that contributed to her situation.
Find other parents to talk to. You may know another family at church who has had a pregnant daughter in the past. Call them and ask to meet for coffee to hear their experiences. You will likely find it very comforting to hear the story of other parents who have gone through similar struggles as you are now facing. Again, don't allow this challenge to isolate you from help when you need it most. Pray for God to bring you wise and trustworthy counsel, and ask God to give you wisdom. James 1:5 says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."
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