Parent Power

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy released their "With One Voice" survey in December. Here are some results.

Teens continue to say that parents (46%) most influence their decisions about sex. By comparison, just 20% say friends most influence their decisions. There is a large body of social science research suggesting that overall closeness between parents and their children, shared activities, parent presence in the home, and parental caring and concern are all associated with a reduced risk of early sex and teen pregnancy. Teens who are close to their parents and feel supported by them are more likely to delay sex and to have fewer sexual partners.

80% of teens say that it would be much easier for teens to delay sexual activity and avoid teen pregnancy if they were able to have more open, honest conversations about these topics with their parents. Parents should consider clarifying their own attitudes and values by thinking about the following kinds of questions:
What do you really think about school-aged teens being sexually active? Who is responsible for setting limits in relationships and how is that done realistically? What do you think about your sons and daughters using contraception?

87% of teens agree that they think it is important for teens to be given a strong message that they should not have sex until they are at least out of high school. Do you find this surprising, considering how much media says that teaching abstinence is silly? When do you want your children to start having sex?

62% of teens wish they were able to talk more openly about relationships with their parents. Teens want to hear not just about biology, but about healthy relationships.

You may find it helpful to read the chapter “Restoring Sexual Integrity” in our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy“.
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2009 Birthrate data

The CDC recently released its preliminary report on birth data for 2009.

The birth rate for U.S. teenagers fell 6% in 2009 according to preliminary data, the lowest level ever recorded in nearly seven decades of tracking teenage childbearing (since 1940). The number of births to teenagers under age 20 also fell 6%. The rate for 2009 was 37% lower than in 1991.

The birth rate for teens aged 15-17 declined 7%, and is now 48% lower than the rate reported in 1991.

The birth rate for teens aged 18-19 declined 6%, and is now 30% lower than the rate reported in 1991.

The birth rate for college-aged (20-24 years old) women declined 7% during 2009.

The birth rate for unmarried women declined almost 4% from 2008 to 2009. This is the first time since 1996 that the total number of births to unmarried women declined instead of increasing. While the total number declined, nonmarital births to women aged 30 and older actually increased.

Teens accounted for just 21% of all nonmarital births in 2009, whereas in 1975 teens were 52% of nonmarital births.

Tips for talking about tough topics

Need tips about talking to your kids about sex, drugs, and alcohol? The National Fatherhood Initiative offers these suggestions:

1) Lead by example.  Kids will model what they see you doing.

2) Know the difference between hypocrisy and growth.  If you’ve made mistakes in the past when it comes to drugs, sex, or alcohol, it’s not hypocritical to talk to your children about avoiding those same mistakes. You’ve grown and learned from your mistakes and your kids can learn from your experience.


3) Strengthen the emotional health of your kids.  Emotional pain easily leads to the use of drugs, including the use of sex as a drug.  Your committed presence in your kids' lives—your unconditional love, attentiveness, and, yes, even occasionally "getting in their face" in a loving way—will go a long way to boost their emotional stability and prevent them from becoming vulnerable to harmful activities.


4) Be age-appropriate.  Until they’re at an age when they need to know about sex, drugs, or alcohol in depth, don’t overexpose them to these mature topics by giving them too much information too soon. That being said, if you don't take the initiative to introduce them to these topics in an appropriate time and way, someone else who might not have the best of intentions will. Be discerning about what your kids need to know based on their age, but don't shy away from the topic if they ask questions before you think they (or you!) are ready.


5) Talk often and candidly.  Put your foot down firmly and have rules and boundaries, but know that there will be situations that you have to walk them through rather than keep them from. Having open conversations about the tough, awkward topics before you get to this point will make it a lot easier for you and your kids to work through the situation together when it happens.


6) Talk about the consequences clearly. A lot of what teens hear hides the truth about the long-term consequences. They’re told that having sex will make them a man/woman or that getting drunk/high is just about having fun – but not the reality that those activities bring serious emotional and physical risks. A characteristic of adolescence is the inability to think and plan long-term – guide your teens on the path to adulthood by helping them think through the lies they’re told and discern the long-term consequences and risks of dangerous activity.


7) Listen well and encourage your kids to talk openly with you. Preaching at your kids, not listening to them or inviting them to share or ask questions, and overreacting can shut down communication. When communication shuts down, teens cut themselves off from those who love and can help them the most—their parents. Keep those communication lines open by giving your kids a chance to talk about their experiences or concerns and ask questions. Make sure you listen respectively.

Real stories: Crystal chooses adoption

Watch Crystal's story and talk about it with your pregnant daughter.

Real Stories: Michelle Murphy

Watch Michelle's story with your pregnant daughter. Michelle got pregnant at 15 and chose to give birth to her son Michael. She considered adoption, but chose to be a single mom.

Real Stories: Sasha's pregnancy after rape

Watch Sasha Nelson's story about becoming pregnant after being raped, and her thoughts about abortion and choosing life for her son, Charlie

Breastfeeding

A recent news article titled "Study: Lack of breastfeeding costs lives, billions of dollars" says

• "If most new moms would breastfeed their babies for the first six months of life, it would save nearly 1,000 lives and billions of dollars each year."
  
• "The United States incurs $13 billion in excess costs annually and suffers 911 preventable deaths per year because our breastfeeding rates fall far below medical recommendations."
  
• The World Health Organization says infants should be exclusively breastfed for the first six months of life "to achieve optimal growth, development and health." The WHO is not alone in its recommendations. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Academy of Family Physicians and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention all agree that breast milk alone is sufficient for newborns and infants until they are 6 months old.
  
• However, a 2009 breastfeeding report card from the CDC found that only 74% of women start breastfeeding, only 33% were still exclusively breastfeeding at three months and only 14% were still exclusively breastfeeding at six months.
  
• Dr. Melissa Bartick, one of the study's co-authors, says the vast majority of extra costs incurred each year could be saved "if 80 to 90 percent of women exclusively breastfed for as little as four months and if 90% of women would breastfeed some times until six months."

Talk to your daughter about your experiences with breastfeeding. Then help her research the benefits of breastfeeding her child, and help her learn successful positions and techniques.