Need tips about talking to your kids about sex, drugs, and alcohol? The National Fatherhood Initiative offers these suggestions:
1) Lead by example. Kids will model what they see you doing.
2) Know the difference between hypocrisy and growth. If you’ve made mistakes in the past when it comes to drugs, sex, or alcohol, it’s not hypocritical to talk to your children about avoiding those same mistakes. You’ve grown and learned from your mistakes and your kids can learn from your experience.
3) Strengthen the emotional health of your kids. Emotional pain easily leads to the use of drugs, including the use of sex as a drug. Your committed presence in your kids' lives—your unconditional love, attentiveness, and, yes, even occasionally "getting in their face" in a loving way—will go a long way to boost their emotional stability and prevent them from becoming vulnerable to harmful activities.
4) Be age-appropriate. Until they’re at an age when they need to know about sex, drugs, or alcohol in depth, don’t overexpose them to these mature topics by giving them too much information too soon. That being said, if you don't take the initiative to introduce them to these topics in an appropriate time and way, someone else who might not have the best of intentions will. Be discerning about what your kids need to know based on their age, but don't shy away from the topic if they ask questions before you think they (or you!) are ready.
5) Talk often and candidly. Put your foot down firmly and have rules and boundaries, but know that there will be situations that you have to walk them through rather than keep them from. Having open conversations about the tough, awkward topics before you get to this point will make it a lot easier for you and your kids to work through the situation together when it happens.
6) Talk about the consequences clearly. A lot of what teens hear hides the truth about the long-term consequences. They’re told that having sex will make them a man/woman or that getting drunk/high is just about having fun – but not the reality that those activities bring serious emotional and physical risks. A characteristic of adolescence is the inability to think and plan long-term – guide your teens on the path to adulthood by helping them think through the lies they’re told and discern the long-term consequences and risks of dangerous activity.
7) Listen well and encourage your kids to talk openly with you. Preaching at your kids, not listening to them or inviting them to share or ask questions, and overreacting can shut down communication. When communication shuts down, teens cut themselves off from those who love and can help them the most—their parents. Keep those communication lines open by giving your kids a chance to talk about their experiences or concerns and ask questions. Make sure you listen respectively.
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