Infant Feeding

Breastfeeding? Formula feeding?  Feminists for Life has a great article "Infant Feeding" that teaches you about both.  Read this article with your pregnant daughter and discuss these points from the article:

• "The American Academy of Pediatrics (www.aap.org/breastfeeding/) recommends breastfeeding newborns for at least six months. Breastfeeding helps build babies’ immune systems and promotes bonding between mother and child. Breastfeeding mothers may find it easier to lose pregnancy weight, and breastfeeding contributes to reduced risk of breast and ovarian cancer."
• "Make sure the baby is allowed to latch on to the breast within the first hour after birth, if  possible, and breastfeeding will be easier for both mother and child. While in the hospital, don’t let staff give formula or pacifiers to your newborn."  Add this to your written Birth Plan if you want the staff to follow this.
• "Check the USDA website at www.fda.gov/cdrh/breastpumps/index.html for information about pumping and storing breast milk."
• "The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends iron-fortified infant formula if you are unable to breastfeed or if your baby is weaned before 12 months or needs supplemental milk."
• "Formula feeding allows fathers, partners or other family members to participate in nourishing and nurturing the baby, encouraging one-on-one time and allowing the mother some extra rest.
  (Pumped breast milk can also be used for this purpose.)"

Does your daughter plan to breastfeed? Or to use formula?  Share your own experiences with her.  Go to several stores and compare prices for formula.  How much money could formula cost each week?

You may find it helpful to read the chapter “The Child is Born” in our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy“.

Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group! 

Free child safety seat for Virginia Residents

To qualify for a free child safety seat in Virginia, applicants must meet all of the following:

• Medicaid or FAMIS eligible or proof of meeting program income eligibility guidelines
• Resident of Virginia
• Parent, legal guardian, or foster parent of the child
• Last trimester of pregnancy, or provided for children seven years old or younger who fit within the program safety seat manufacturer's guidelines
• Available to attend a safety seat installation and use class
• Sign a waiver of liability release form

If you meet the above requirements you may contact your local distribution site to learn how to apply for the program. To use an interactive map to locate a distribution site where you live and learn how to apply to receive a free safety seat click here.
For more information concerning the program or for other technical assistance on child occupant protection and resource information, call 1-800-732-8333.

Maps for Dads

"Maps for New Dads" is a great brochure for the baby's father, covering both prenatal and newborn topics.  Print out a free copy and give it to the baby's father.  Use the brochure as a guideline for family talk times.  Your pregnant daughter and other family members may like a copy too so that they can participate in the discussion.

Topics covered in the brochure are:
Prenatal: Before Your Baby Is BornHow Do You Feel About Being a Dad?
What to Expect When You’re Expecting
The First Trimester
The Second Trimester
The Third Trimester
Dad Fears...There are Plenty!
Dads Make a Difference
Settling Down
Just the Facts
Get Involved and Stay Involved
Prenatal Visits: Why Are They So Important?
Making a Healthy Baby – Dad’s Part
Show Me the Money!
What You Can Do to Get Ready
What’s Up with the New Mom?
Chef Dad
What If My Baby's Mother and I Aren't Together?
What You Can Expect When the Baby Comes
Bonding With Your New Baby
Changing A Diaper!
Sleeping, Dressing, Grooming
Feeding
Crying
Never Shake a Baby
Newborn Safety
All About Cribs
Make Your House a Smoke-free Zone
Supporting Your Baby’s Mom
What Are Mommy Blues?
Make Dadhood Legal
Getting a Job and Going to School
Live Like Dad...Be There!

You may find it helpful to read the chapters “Where does the baby's father belong in all this?” and "The importance of a father" in our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy“.

Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!  

Teen birth is contagious?

"Our results show that teen motherhood of the older sister has a significant positive impact on the probability that her younger sister will also have a teen birth. [The impact] is larger for siblings who are close in age, ...as we would expect any such effect to wear off as the age gap between the sisters increases. It is also higher for women from low income households where shared resources between siblings may matter more. We conclude that, within families, teen births tend to be contagious."

These conclusions are from researchers evaluating birth data from Norway during the 1960s.  So the conclusions may not be transferable to the USA of the present time.  However, the question is an interesting one.  If you have two daughters, close in age, and the elder daughter gets pregnant as a teen then it could be significantly more likely that your younger daughter will also also get pregnant as a teen.

So talk to your younger daughters about their older sister's pregnancy.  What does your younger daughter think about her older sister being pregnant?  Does your younger daughter often copy the behavior of your older daughter?  Do you need to change anything in your parenting so that your younger daughter has a reduced chance of becoming sexually active as a teen?

You may find it helpful to read the chapter “Sharing with family and friends” in our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy“.

Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group! 

Health Insurance resource

A pregnant woman needs and deserves prenatal care from the moment she learns she is pregnant. The State Child Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) provides free or low-cost health insurance for children up to age 18 as well as for pregnant women.

The program is designed for families who earn too much to qualify for Medicaid but not enough to afford insurance on their own. Requirements and provisions vary by state. Check insurekidsnow.gov for links to your state’s SCHIP resources, or call 1-877-KIDSNOW (1-877-543-7669).

You may find it helpful to read the chapters “First steps to take” in our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy“.

Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!  

Real stories: Allison Walsh

Allison Walsh, 21, was seven months pregnant and living with her 22-year-old boyfriend (Matthew Becker) and his family.  Matthew shot and killed Allison on August 12, and their unborn daughter died too.  Why did Matthew kill Allison?  His family says that Matthew was not happy that Allison was pregnant.  Allison had told her family that Matthew wanted her to abort the baby and that he had said that he would not help care for the child when it was born.  Matthew had a history of physically and verbally abusing his girlfriends.  Matthew also had a history of threatening his girlfriends with knives and guns, and was very controlling.

If your daughter's relationship to the baby's father has any similarity to the above, please help your daughter escape him and stay away from him.  Take his threats very seriously.  Get your daughter counseling for the verbal abuse so that she can stay away from him.  Talk to the police and to a lawyer about what you can do to protect your daughter and her unborn child.  Learn about domestic violence at the National Domestic Violence Hotline website.

Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group! 

Real story: Troy Gaines

Troy Gaines grew up in Akron, Ohio, in the 1970’s. He grew up without his father.

Troy has painful memories of not receiving any direction from his dad about school, sports, or any other part of his life. He was a star running back for his middle school football team that won three championships. He felt like if he did well at football that his father would take an interest in his life. He has vivid memories of waiting for his father to show up after each of his football games, only to be
bitterly disappointed.

In his own words, he “wanted to lash out.” Troy turned to other people and things to fill the void that his father had left in his life. As a result, he had several run-ins with police, and starting in 2002 he spent a year at the Summit County Jail. At the time he went to prison, he was leaving behind his 22 year old girlfriend, Stacey, and their one week old son, Xavier. Troy recalls thinking that Xavier would feel the same way about him as he felt about his own dad.

It took a tragedy in Troy’s life for him to really turn the corner. While in prison, Troy learned that his girlfriend, Stacey, was murdered by guys that came to the house looking for drugs. Distraught from the loss of his girlfriend, Troy realized he needed help on what it means to be a man and father. He had a renewed determination to be there for his son in ways that his father was not there for him. He was committed to breaking the vicious cycle of father absence.

It was at that point that he turned to a man named Frank Williams, who was leading the InsideOut Dad™ program, which is helping inmate fathers throughout the country reconnect with their children before they are released. Troy had asked Frank for help on how to be a better man and father, and Frank was more than willing to answer that call. (Frank leads the Man2Man Fatherhood Building Program in Akron, Ohio.)

Troy knew he was in the right place when he joined the InsideOut Dad™ program and became part of a community of men that could support, encourage, and challenge each other to be better fathers, even while incarcerated. Troy remarked, “The [National] Fatherhood Initiative program [InsideOut Dad™] helped me to realize you have to make some changes in your life because what you’re doing is going to affect your boy.”

When Troy was released from prison, his first two goals were to find a job and connect with his one year old son. Now that Xavier is 8 years old, Troy is committed to helping him with homework and football, the very things he desperately wanted from his own dad. In fact, Troy tries to attend every game and practice that Xavier has. The impact of Troy’s involvement in Xavier’s life can best be seen
when talking to Xavier.

“With my dad at my games, I feel better and I care more. I love him a lot because he is a very good dad. If you make a mistake, he’ll make you keep going and going and… make you lift your head up.”

Troy knows there is a lot at stake in what type of father he is to Xavier. “Kids do exactly what they see their parents do. If I didn’t straighten up how I did, he would probably follow in my footsteps because he wanted to be like me.”

Troy tells Xavier at least five times a day that he loves him.  We can tell that Xavier knows it when he says, “My dad loves me and would do anything for me.”

Troy’s moving story is featured in a video that was released as part of the Connections Project, an initiative to train practitioners around the country on how to better serve fathers in a corrections setting. To view the video of Troy’s story, please visit www.connectionsproject.org. The Connections Project is being funded by the Bureau of Justice Assistance, a component of the Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice.

You may find it helpful to read the chapters “Where does the baby's father belong in all this?” and "The importance of a father" in our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy“.

Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!