Obviously if your daughter is pregnant, she has engaged in sexual activity (whether she desired to be or not). But past sexual activity does not mean she has to continue to be sexually active. She can choose sexual integrity for her future actions. Sexual integrity encompasses much more than abstaining from sex outside of marriage. Sexual integrity also includes being faithful to her future spouse inside of marriage (both physically and mentally), staying away from things that can damage her sexuality and self-worth (like pornography, internet flirting, phone sex, internet sex, etc.), and practicing self control so that she is able to be pure at times when her future husband is sick or deployed or on business travel. Here is a recent press release (from the Institute for Youth Development) and Executive Summary of a review of medical literature reporting results from studies which show the benefits of waiting for sex until marriage.
Scientific Evidence Supports Sexual Abstinence as the Best Choice for Prevention
Review Emphasizes the Benefits of Delaying Sexual Debut for Youth
Washington, DC (May 30, 2008) With all of the sexually permissive messages aimed at today’s adolescents from the mass media, America’s parents have made it clear that they desire a strong abstinence message for their children’s reproductive health education. “When scientific evidence continues to reveal that sexual abstinence provides youth with the best physical, psychological, social, and financial health, it’s hard to disagree with the vast majority of parents,” said Shepherd Smith, President of the Institute for Youth Development. “Research shows us when teenagers delay sexual initiation they have better life outcomes. From academic achievement to healthy relationships, the data is clear: Abstinence is the best choice for youth.”Christopher Doyle, Behavioral Research Analyst with the Institute for Youth Development and author of the Benefits of Delaying Sexual Debut, presents a compelling argument in this comprehensive review of scientific and medical research. “It presents a convincing argument for postponing sex, while encompassing some of the theories that have not received enough attention in the abstinence community, such as adolescent brain development and its consequences for decision making, society’s inconsistent messages on sexuality and how it affects teens’ behavior, the research behind self-control, and the importance of healthy relationships for successful marriage and well-being,” said Smith. “This comprehensive overview will undoubtedly benefit all those who work in the field of youth development.”
Here is the Executive Summary.Today’s adolescents have an array of challenges before them that previous generations never faced. Fifty years ago, there were only a handful of STIs; today, sexually active teens are at risk for acquiring over two dozen. At the same time, the age at first marriage has steadily risen by 20-25 percent, cohabitations have increased 6.5 times, and sex before wedlock has become the norm, not the exception. If that’s not enough, combine the 24 hour media circus with a billion dollar internet pornography industry, Victoria’s Secret at every shopping mall, and Hollywood’s sex-saturated messages broadcast in your living room, and you have a sex-on-demand culture being digested by our children every day.
As this review of literature shows, the range of benefits that postponing sex offers young people is scientifically proven, but in order for adolescents to embrace this message, these concepts need to be communicated effectively and often within public education. Surveys indicate that parents desire an abstinence message for their children; however, U.S. culture is simply not reinforcing this value, making it difficult for youth to understand the reasons why they should wait for sex. Thus, educational strategies should focus on the following conclusions that can be drawn from the benefits of delaying sexual debut.
Premarital sex has a negative impact on the physical health of adolescents, and typically hurts girls more than boys. Although sexually active young men are at risk to acquire STIs, females (especially younger girls) are more vulnerable to these infections because of their biological makeup. Girls are also more likely to suffer physical abuse in sexual relationships, and research indicates that adolescent females have a higher probability of contracting an STI when their romantic partner is substantially older. Typically, girls do not report using condoms as consistently as boys; and neither gender’s brain is developed enough to make reasoned, future- oriented decisions about contraception. Girls also tend to pay a much higher price than boys when it comes to teenage pregnancy, as they are often left to carry and raise the child on their own.
Some of these physical consequences may also play a role in the psychological health outcomes of sexually active youth. For example, adolescent girls who are abandoned by their boyfriend after learning of a pregnancy may become depressed with the prospect of raising a child alone. Women also tend to make more of an emotional investment in romantic relationships, which could lead them down the path of seeking love through sex; this in turn may result in the vicious cycle of repetition/compulsion. On the other hand, boys typically suffer psychological symptoms only when combining sexual activity with other high risk behaviors, such as drug and alcohol use; and both genders are more likely to think about and commit suicide if they have initiated sex, especially those at a young age. However, if young people wait to have sex until marriage, they avoid these risks, and stand to benefit from the social and financial advantages that abstinence offers.
One of the best social outcomes that results from abstinence is the occurrence of healthy relationships. When adolescents choose to wait, they avoid premarital sexual bonds with other partners. This in turn makes them far less likely to get involved in cohabitations, which is a major risk factor for future marital infidelity and divorce. Healthy marriages also benefit the well-being of each spouse (especially men), and provide a nurturing environment for children.
Another social benefit that stems from abstinence is increased financial stability. When adolescents avoid childbearing outside of marriage, they are able to focus their attention on educational pursuits and future careers, without having to sacrifice the time and money that a family demands. Although research has not demonstrated a clear causal relationship between early sex and delinquency, many studies show that when teenagers abstain, they are less likely to get enmeshed in a problem behavior syndrome that includes poor academic performance, substance use, and other risk behaviors. It may very well be that abstinence acts as a protective barrier, insulating teenagers from an array of harmful behaviors that have the potential to create future problems.
Although the data is not clear for every single outcome, research does demonstrate that delaying sexual debut has a significant impact on the physical, psychological, financial, and social health of young people. Parents and policy makers alike should continue to embrace abstinence as a primary message for sexual education, develop strategies based upon the existing data, while building upon new research that continues to evolve in adolescent sexual health.
--End of Executive Summary--
Read the entire review of literature HERE. (PDF file, Adobe Acrobat Reader required). I urge you to read this literature review and talk to your children about the research:
- Has your daughter suffered physical abuse at the hands of her romantic partners?
- Has your daughter been abandoned by the baby's father? If so, does the thought of raising her child alone make her feel depressed?
- How much of an emotional investment does she feel she makes in her romantic relationships? Does she feel she could be seeking love through sex?
- Has she combined sexual activity with other high risk behaviors, such as drug and alcohol use?
- Was she the person who initiated sex? How old was she at her first sexual encounter? Has she felt guilt about her sexual activity? Has she thought about suicide?
- What are her hopes and dreams about marriage?
- Does she feel she has emotional bonds to her sexual partners? If so, what impact does she imagine that will have on her future marriage?
- What are her thoughts and feelings about cohabitation, which is a major risk factor for future marital infidelity and divorce?