Murder Is #1 Cause Of Death For Pregnant Women

In Maryland, murder is the number one cause of death for pregnant women, reports WJZ.com news.

The article says that the victims are typically young, single and African-American.

The perpetrator is typically the baby's father. Why does he kill his pregnant girlfriend? He is seeking to end her pregnancy.

Maryland is among the 36 states that have a law that allows prosecutors to charge the killer of a pregnant woman with two deaths: the woman, and the child she is carrying.

Talk to your single pregnant daughter about her relationship with the baby's father. Has he been strongly against her giving birth? Has he been pushing her to get an abortion? Has he threatened her? What was their relationship like before she became pregnant - was he abusive or violent even then? Ask your pregnant daughter to tell you immediately if the baby's father is threatening toward her, and then seek help from the police right away.

Jump Start House

The News Tribune (of Washington State) recently ran an article titled "Jump Start: Helping young moms set sail". This article describes the Jump Start house as "one of a very few in Pierce County designed especially for young pregnant women and their babies." It can house "up to four 18- to 25-year-old women who are either pregnant or have children" but is often full and turns away more than a dozen requests for housing each month.

Just like other maternity homes (see our previous post about maternity homes), there are rules:

• "Residents must pay a third of their income for rent, whether that comes from state welfare benefits or job earnings."
• "They’re also responsible for buying their own food, though they typically qualify for food stamps."
• "They must participate in weekly “house group” gatherings and individual meetings with case manager Seyler."
• "They must go to school or work 20 hours a week."
• "The women sign a lease to live in the home for one year, though the stay can be extended for an additional year."
• "They’re also subject to surprise midnight bed checks from case managers."
• "Boyfriends aren’t allowed to stay overnight."

The article concludes with information on other resources in that area: "Lakewood Area Shelter Association provides temporary, transitional and permanent housing and help with rent for people throughout Pierce County, including pregnant women ages 18 to 25. The association also accepts donations of single beds, cribs, dressers, vegetable starts and gardening equipment. For information, call 253-581-8689."

"New Beginnings Home in Puyallup provides housing for pregnant women, including those under 18 if parents make a voluntary placement agreement. For information, call Debi Musick at 253-232-7318."

If your pregnant daughter will be living at home with you during her pregnancy (and/or after the baby is born), you may consider making a contract with her that includes the ideas above. The contract could specify how much rent she will pay to you, her contribution to food and cooking duties, that she must attend counseling meetings once a week at a Pregnancy Help Center, that she must go to school and/or have a job, and other rules. We discuss contracts such as these in the chapter "Should She Parent Alone?" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy".

Michelle's story

Michelle Hall, a blogger for Examiner.com, told briefly of her two pregnancies when she was a teen:

Absolutely becoming a teen mother was the most difficult, stressful thing I have ever been through. I nearly died and my daughter as well. Here’s a little glimpse into my teen pregnancy: due to my age my pregnancy was complicated, I had a petite frame and upon finding a problem was put on bed rest and serious restriction. Out of fear, they chose to deliver her via cesarean section a month early. She was stuck between my ribs and my pelvic bone and they struggled to get her out, once they did her breathing was not strong and they wisked her away, I did not even get to hold her. As I went into recovery, the medications wore off and the hospital somehow ran out (stormy day, supplies didn’t come in) and I began bleeding to death, and screaming from feeling the pain of the c-section and delivery just hours prior. As they resolved that issue the staff wheeled my little tiny baby girl in (in an incubator) and informed me she would be flown by helicopter to children’s hospital to be better cared for, but I would have to remain in the hospital for the next three days. Not exactly an after-school special on teen pregnancy is it?

She talks about how it is important for parents to start talking to their kids about sex early in life and to keep talking about as they grow, going into more detail as they are ready for it. To be ready for these multiple talks, you need to have accurate information yourself, you have to be available to talk to, and you have to be aware of what is going on in their entire life.

Michelle also wrote a blog entry about how teen pregnancy is not an issue only for girls...there's a boy involved, too! In that entry, she says "If your family believes in abstinence, make sure your son is on the same page and talk to him seriously about the repercussions of even a onetime choice to have sex. Talk to them about STD’s, HIV and AIDS, they need to truly understand that one time can change their life-long plans. ... Make sure your son knows that he can come to you for anything, any question, and any time. Don’t be the judge and the jury, be the one they trust. You don’t have to agree, but you do need to protect and love them unconditionally."

Finishing High School

A recent article on CNN was titled "'High school dropout crisis' continues in U.S., study says". Some of the tidbits in this article are:

• "Nearly 6.2 million students in the United States between the ages of 16 and 24 in 2007 dropped out of high school"
• "The total represents 16 percent of all people in the United States in that age range in 2007"
• "Blacks and Hispanics of both genders are among those particularly prone to dropping out of high school"
• "Americans without a high school diploma have considerably lower earning power and job opportunities in today's workforce. Over a working lifetime from ages 18-64, high school dropouts are estimated to earn $400,000 less than those that graduated from high school."

Click to see the full report, "Left Behind in America: The Nation's Dropout Crisis". This report says that the mean annual earnings of all adults age 16-64 year (including zero earners/jobless all year) over the 2006-2007 time period are:
• No high school diploma: $11,031 per year
• High School diploma: $23,059 per year
• Bachelors degree: $50,863 per year
• Advanced degree: $76,091 per year

Help your pregnant teen to finish high school! This should be a very high priority for her if she is to ever be able to support herself and her child.

A GED is unfortunately still considered of less value than a high school diploma. The Left Behind in America report says, "National research has consistently revealed that GED holders, on average, do not fare as well in the labor market as regular high school graduates, and they are considerably less likely to obtain any type of post-secondary degree. Only a tiny fraction of GED holders (less than 10%) from the high school graduating Class of 1992 obtained a post-secondary degree by 2000 and an even lower share of young national GED holders have done so in recent years."

New pregnant teen program in Nevada

St. Jude’s Ranch for Children has responded to one of the greatest unmet needs for children in Southern Nevada with the opening of the Pregnant and Parenting Teen Program.

The Program provides “at-risk” mothers ages 10 to 17 years old the opportunity to receive training in parenting, job and life skills as well as social, academic and independent living skill development. Individualized and group therapy are also offered and all are delivered while focusing on the mother's health care needs throughout her pregnancy.

The facility is large enough to accommodate a teen mother in private quarters through the pregnancy stages and after the arrival of her new baby. In addition to a parenting curriculum, all the girls will attend the local public high school and receive individualized case monitoring provided by trained and caring staff. The Program residents will be able to stay until they are ready to transition to independent living or until they turn 20 years old. Working in the community and learning how to become a self sufficient and productive parent and member of society are core skills these young women will learn as residents of the St. Jude’s Ranch for Children Pregnant and Parenting Teen Program.

Money & Your Pregnant Engaged Daughter

Crown Financial Ministries has many free articles about money on their website.

When you and your pregnant daughter are evaluating whether the baby's father is a good candidate for marriage, the 11-page worksheet titled "Before you say 'I Do': Getting acquianted" is an excellent resource for looking at the money management aspect of the relationship. Get together with your pregnant daughter and the baby's father. Print out a copy of the worksheet for every person at the meeting. Read it outloud and do the exercises independently and then discuss each one together.

By completing this worksheet, everyone can learn about their own traits such as:

• Selfishness versus cooperation
• Pride versus humility
• Greed versus generosity
• Planner versus disorganized
• Patterns of decision making
• How you handle disagreements
• Trusting God versus independence

If your pregnant daughter and the baby's father have wildly different views of money management, this is an area that could cause massive conflict in a marriage and should be approached carefully.

Pregnancy and smoking

Recent news indicates that the antidepressant bupropion can help pregnant women curb their smoking. A research study was performed by Dr. Margaret S. Chisolm, and she found that women who are drug-dependent tend to continue smoking during pregnancy even though smoking is dangerous to their child just as the illicit drugs are dangerous.

Smoking during pregnancy increases the risk of miscarriage, low infant birthweight, fetal death, and infant death.

So if your pregnant daughter is smoking, ask her doctor if bupropion would be appropriate for your daughter to help her stop smoking.