A majority (57%) of respondents agreed with the statement “Sometimes choosing adoption is what it means to be a good mother.” (In a 2010 Harris Interactive Survey commissioned by the National Council for Adoption)
Research clearly shows that adoption is good for children, birthmothers, and families; outcomes for adopted children and birthmothers are generally very positive. Children adopted as infants display few indicators of high-risk behavior such as alcohol use, fighting in school, and trouble with the police. Adopted children also scored higher than did adolescents in the general population on indicators of wellbeing such as school performance, friendships, self-esteem, and social competency.
Most birthmothers who placed their children for adoption report feeling that they made the right decision. In particular, comparing teenagers who make an adoption plan with those who parent indicates that those who chose adoption are more likely to finish school, obtain a higher level of education, and attain better employment than their parenting peers. They are also less likely to receive public assistance or experience another pregnancy before they are married.
Both current research and public opinion support the fact that adoption can be a positive option for women, and yet providing information to women making pregnancy decisions often proves a challenge. If more women were fully informed and educated about the option of adoption and its positive outcomes for both birthparents and children, they might choose to make an adoption plan. Women facing unintended pregnancies should be provided with timely, accurate, non-coercive information about adoption.
You may find it helpful to read the chapters “Should she make an adoption plan?” and “Dedication Service” in our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy“.
Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Adoption statistics
The National Council For Adoption (NCFA) recently released the "Adoption Factbook V" which has statistics and articles about adoption.
While there has been a decline in the number of infant adoptions, the increase in overall
domestic adoption is due to a rise in adoptions by relatives as well as adoptions from foster
care.
Overall, domestic adoption has increased in recent years; In 2007, 133,737 domestic adoptions
were reported, an increase of 3,468 (2.6%) over the reported 130,269 domestic adoptions
in 2002.
Related adoptions (including step-parent adoptions and other family member adoptions)
have increased by 2,992 (5.5%), with 57,248 reported in 2007 compared to 54,256 in
2002.
55,684 children were adopted from foster care in 2009, an increase over previous years. There are currently about 114,556 children in the US foster care system who are eligible for adoption.
The number of domestic infant adoptions obviously fluctuates from year to year, but it has been
on the decline since 1992, and the latest study by NCFA reveals that this is a continuing trend.
There were only 18,078 domestic infant adoptions in 2007 (the most recent year for which this
study was able to obtain statistics), compared to 22,291 in 2002. This 18.9% decrease
indicates that there is still much work to be done in order to ensure that women facing
unintended pregnancies are fully informed, educated, and able to consider the option of
adoption on an equal basis with all other pregnancy options.
There were 11,059 immigrant orphan adoptions reported in 2010, a 35.8% decrease from 17,229 in 2008. This also reflects an overall five-year decline in intercountry adoptions of 51.7% since 2004 (when 22,900 intercountry adoptions were reported).
While there has been a decrease in domestic infant and intercountry adoption over the past several years, there has been no decrease in the number of American families willing to adopt. In fact, the opposite is true; many families wait for years in order to adopt children.
You may find it helpful to read the chapters “Should she make an adoption plan?” and “Dedication Service” in our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy“.
Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!
While there has been a decline in the number of infant adoptions, the increase in overall
domestic adoption is due to a rise in adoptions by relatives as well as adoptions from foster
care.
Overall, domestic adoption has increased in recent years; In 2007, 133,737 domestic adoptions
were reported, an increase of 3,468 (2.6%) over the reported 130,269 domestic adoptions
in 2002.
Related adoptions (including step-parent adoptions and other family member adoptions)
have increased by 2,992 (5.5%), with 57,248 reported in 2007 compared to 54,256 in
2002.
55,684 children were adopted from foster care in 2009, an increase over previous years. There are currently about 114,556 children in the US foster care system who are eligible for adoption.
The number of domestic infant adoptions obviously fluctuates from year to year, but it has been
on the decline since 1992, and the latest study by NCFA reveals that this is a continuing trend.
There were only 18,078 domestic infant adoptions in 2007 (the most recent year for which this
study was able to obtain statistics), compared to 22,291 in 2002. This 18.9% decrease
indicates that there is still much work to be done in order to ensure that women facing
unintended pregnancies are fully informed, educated, and able to consider the option of
adoption on an equal basis with all other pregnancy options.
There were 11,059 immigrant orphan adoptions reported in 2010, a 35.8% decrease from 17,229 in 2008. This also reflects an overall five-year decline in intercountry adoptions of 51.7% since 2004 (when 22,900 intercountry adoptions were reported).
While there has been a decrease in domestic infant and intercountry adoption over the past several years, there has been no decrease in the number of American families willing to adopt. In fact, the opposite is true; many families wait for years in order to adopt children.
You may find it helpful to read the chapters “Should she make an adoption plan?” and “Dedication Service” in our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy“.
Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
Birthmother's Day - May 7, 2011
Birthmother's Day was created by a group of birthmothers in Seattle, Washington, who wished to reflect on the choice they made and the life they gave. While there is joy in knowing that life goes on for both birthmother and child, most birthmothers agree that there is also pain associated with Mother's Day, and they wanted to establish a day that would honor their birthmotherhood.
This year, please join us in honoring birthmoms. Mark your calendar for May 7, the Saturday before Mother's Day. (Yes, they have their own special day!)
Any woman facing unintended pregnancy is entitled to a variety of resources empowering her to make a fully informed choice, the choice that is best for her and her child. If she chooses to make an adoption plan, with or without the participation of the child's father, she needs practical assistance as well as emotional support and counseling before and after the adoption.
Unconditional support must come from parents, family and friends, counselors and adoption agencies, schools and workplaces, and prospective adoptive parents.
Unconditional support may take various forms, some included below. Every woman making an adoption plan for her child should feel that she is fully informed, and is not coerced by individuals or by circumstances or lack of support. She must know that her personal and individual choices are honored from the beginning of her pregnancy and throughout the rest of her life.
Unconditional support means that she needs practical support to help meet living expenses, including housing, food, phone, and legal fees.
Unconditional support means that she needs understanding and flexibility from educators throughout her pregnancy.
Unconditional support means that she needs support from her employers. Birthmothers are entitled to the same pregnancy leave granted to other pregnant employees under the Family and Medical Leave Act. A birthmother needs postpartum care for both her physical and emotional wellbeing, and she should have access to the same leave benefits, paid or unpaid, as those extended for recovery after any employee gives birth.
Unconditional support means that she needs quality medical care, including pre- and post-natal care, counseling, and education regarding birth and, if she chooses, breastfeeding.
Unconditional support means that she needs to know her options once the baby is born. She may want time with the baby once born, a chance to introduce the child to family and friends. As Jessica said, "I had to say hello before I could say goodbye." There should be transition options such as an "entrustment ceremony." The birthmother needs to decide what sort of contact she would like to have with the adoptive family, including visits, cards, photos, etc., depending on the level of openness both birthparents and adoptive parents are comfortable with. And she also deserves privacy and respect, and to have control over who is told about the adoption, what they are told, by whom, and when.
Unconditional support means that she is entitled to counseling both before and after the adoption takes place. Responsible, ethical adoption policy requires that birthparents are fully informed and supported throughout the adoption process and after, and that they are given all necessary information regarding their legal rights and responsibilities.
Unconditional support means that she should have access to ongoing support through counseling and birthmother support groups.
Unconditional support means that she deserves ongoing support and respect from each and every one of us.
While we honor birthmothers on May 7th, we must remember that their experiences are unique, characterized by mixed emotions, and that their feelings may change over time. For those women who have made the thoughtful, loving decision that adoption was the best choice for them and their children, we must also recognize another element, that there is still a loss.
Every birthmother, like every mother who parents her child, is different. Ask her what she needs from you. It may be as simple as saying "thank you" or offering a hug, or as complicated as helping her find a qualified counselor.
For some who may not fully understand the choice of adoption, it can be tempting to romanticize the birthmother, viewing her simply as a selfless hero and glossing over her actual feelings and experiences. Yes, there is sacrifice made by every birthmother, and in order to appreciate that and truly support her, we need to listen to her fully and address her needs as best we can.
There is no "one size fits all" solution for every woman facing unplanned pregnancy, or every birthparent who makes an adoption plan for her child.
You may find it helpful to read the chapters "Should she make an adoption plan?" and "Dedication Service" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy".
Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!
Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Real Story: Rosemary Newman's Death
Rosemary was 18 years old and would be giving birth to her daughter in a few days. The baby's father was no longer in her life. But then he suddenly invited her out to dinner, and she never came home from that date. Rosemary's former boyfriend didn't want to be a father, so he and his new girlfriend strangled and beat Rosemary to death.
Parents, talk to your pregnant daughter about this story. Be cautious if her baby's father shows up again suddenly after getting out of her life. Be cautious if her baby's father has indicated that he doesn't want to be a father. If the baby's father has made any threats against your daughter or the baby, talk to the police or to a lawyer about getting a restraining order against him.
You may find it helpful to read the chapter "Where does the baby's father belong in all this?" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy".
Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!
Parents, talk to your pregnant daughter about this story. Be cautious if her baby's father shows up again suddenly after getting out of her life. Be cautious if her baby's father has indicated that he doesn't want to be a father. If the baby's father has made any threats against your daughter or the baby, talk to the police or to a lawyer about getting a restraining order against him.
You may find it helpful to read the chapter "Where does the baby's father belong in all this?" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy".
Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Why do teens send sexual text messages?
Why do teens send sex text messages on their cell phones? HLN's Dr. Drew Pinsky looks into why kids are sexting.
Talk to your children about this video clip. How do they define the word 'reputation'? What kind of reputation do they want to have? Do they think their online reputation could affect their chances of getting in to a good college or getting a good job in the future? Have they sent sexual text messages on their phone? Have they sent sexy photos of themselves? Discuss the rules you want them to follow when using their phone and the internet.
You may find it helpful to read the chapter "Restoring Sexual Integrity" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy".
Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!
Talk to your children about this video clip. How do they define the word 'reputation'? What kind of reputation do they want to have? Do they think their online reputation could affect their chances of getting in to a good college or getting a good job in the future? Have they sent sexual text messages on their phone? Have they sent sexy photos of themselves? Discuss the rules you want them to follow when using their phone and the internet.
You may find it helpful to read the chapter "Restoring Sexual Integrity" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy".
Have questions? Want to talk about this post or other issues? Write a comment, join us on Facebook, or talk with us on our new Grandparent Support Group!
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